Too in love to funktion.

Okey.. guess this is it.... another day. I hate Tusedays... well aye, I hate almost every day except from Saturdays, Fridays n Wednesdays...
Im tired.. Im warm.. Im in a bad mood n I cant take this....

What's this? What's fucking upto this?
I have no idea what you think right now or if you're mad at me or wtf.. I have no idea if you're ever gonna write to me or if you're just not ever gonna talk to me again... But hunny, serously, I just can't take it when you say like that! FFS, will you ever believe that I love you? I don't know what to do, since no matter what, you always doubt it. It might was a big mistake to let you read my blog, since you can't let go of what I've written. Babe... it's like this, you have to read it ALL, well you might read it all but you only remember the bad things I've written. You never remember the things I write at the bottom of ever one of those bad blogs... I always finish with that I can't live without you! I can't hunny, and no matter how many times I'll write that I maybe wish I never met you, I don't mean it. Of course I don't mean it. I have my bad days hunny, everyone has. I only wish I never'd met you when we argue or something. I sometimes catshes myself with writing it and I just stop and wonder, wtf I'm doing, I don't want you out of my life, I love you.
So, Joakim Martin Carlsson Lauridsen, I never ever want you out of my life. Because the day you leave my life, and never returns, that day I'll never live again. I can't live my life without knowing that I can call you and hear your voice for no peculair reason. I can't live without knowing that no matter what, I'll always have you to go to. I can't live without knowing that no matter how sad I get, I'll always have you to cheer me up, because babe, you always cheer me up <3
Now I don't know what else to write since I don't really know what else I feel. I just gonna pray to God and hope that I'll see you w.44. And pray that I'll hear from you before that. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done you bad, but one thing that you should always have in mind is; No matter what I say or what I do... Don't ever question my love for you, because it'll never change. I always want you here < '3

I'm just too in love to funktion.


Solitude * Vacancy <3

Mrrraaow.

Okey.. I have "Mrrraow" on my brain.. i walk round sayin it all the time.. it kinda bothers me but, hey.. Im fucked up XD
Had a blast 2night actually... ;D Had groupfight in the basement , in the dark, in a bed XD

¤ Kim ¤ Björn ¤ Gurra ¤ Robban ¤ Emil ¤ Joel ¤ CF ¤ Henke ¤ ( Brother ) ¤

ÄLSK <3

it was rllllly fun.. well mebe not whn Kim, Joel n CF tickled me to death XD hahaha they held me n Kim the fucker found out where Im the mot tickley ;D Almost couldnt breath XD but okey.. it was fun :$ .... until mum opened the door n ruined everything. . . -.-' Well hey.. it was fun later on as well :)
They teached me how to play WOW, STUPID! Got all stuck, n now I wanna play moooore *puppy eyes* Fucking guys... they suck. I didnt wanna get addicted of WOW as well! *sigh* aye, well now I am.. but hopefully I'll get over it... ;D

*

I SO cant take you! I dunno.. you're such a WHORE! I cant see how every1 can like you.. it's like.. AH! I jus wanna PUKE at you... you're jus one of those ppl that you HATE for no special reason. I JUS HATE YOU.
The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you act, the way you look, the way you do you hair, the way you do your makeup, the way you live n the way YOU'RE A FUCKIN CUNT!
Well okey.. we're kinda like you n me except that I DONT CUDDLE N FUCKIN SLEEP WITH THE GUYS IM WITH. I can actually spend TIME with guys without bein a bitch n giggle n smile like you were 13...
I so hate girls.. they're so false n if they're not false, they're jus TOO MUCH! Jus like you... I dont like the way you're on every guy n it doesnt seems to Bother you at all!
I hate the fact that you're in this house right now.. the fact that you're gon sleep here 2night.. prolly in the same bed as 4 guys...
Y O U A R E A S L U T !! A n d I h a t e y o u !

*

Why does it feels like you're mad at me?
Do you have a reason to be mad at me?
... in that case, what have I done?
Anyways, I didnt mean it... < '3

I LOVE YOU, yes, for real. And I'm totally sure <3<3<3<3


Solitude * Vacancy <3

Brother.

Well I guess this is Happy Birthday thn.. he's goind 15 n he got a fucking moped ! . . spoiled kid..
He's have LAN here 2daz.. so I RLY dont feel like bein at home.. longing for mum to end work so that we can buy me money to my phone since it feels like Im totally outsider whn I haev no money on my phone.. oh gee, im so patetic..
Anyways.. I'll prolly not do anything 2daz, as usual, n so I'll have to stay hom eall night n I'll get totally B-O-R-E-D.
An old classmate's here in town this weekend.. I so not like her since she's jus.. well, SHE A GIRL. What more can I say.. I dont like girls.. so I cant call Ante 2daz either cuz they'll prolly be with eachother all weekend.. I think that Manda've gon home this weekend.. seriously, I have no friends! -.-'

well okey.. now I've been baking... it is pretty fun :) tho I feel even more fat thn I felt b4.. birthdays suck since you jus eat yourself more fat.. -.-'




Jus see how fat I am.. this is he proof... n aye, thn the moped is my brothers n I made a new bracelet yesterday.. Im so EMO ;D tho I remade it like several of times since I spelled EMO, EO first.. n second time I wrote the M upsidedown... -.-' Jus wasnt my day yesterday..

Well anyways, I've got money on my phone now n it's all gd... Jus gon try n find sumthin to do 2daz... wonder what that'll be...


It beats for you, for your life only.
Who came to me, when I were lonely.
With a beat so powerful, so be aware.
A powerful beat, of loving and care.
Since nothing at all can stop it's beat,
just face the fact and take a seat.
Face it that it let you in.
Face it that you'll never win.
It'll beat for you forever and ever.
Even if we're not together.

< '3



Solitude * Vacancy <3

Night.

Well i guess this is goodnight thn.. I have nothing to do up anymore.. everything bores me to DEATH, so it's better if I jus go to bed!
I hope I find sum place to sleep 2moz cuz I RLY dont wanna sleep at home.. I jus cant take my younger brother atm.. GOD! Well I'll sleep sumwhere, it's not that importent as long as I get my sleep..
And aye, hopefully I'll get money to my phone 2moz.. Im totally out.. Im totally 08 XD hahaha.. Well I have .08 kr left.. it's jus fun to say that I've gon 08 on my phone XD ......... o.O okey sry, *bad humor*
Well it's late so.. it's not rly my fault.. well it is, since I chose to stay up.. well it's not my fault that Im born to get all stupid whn it's late.. omg Im talking shit again... ;X


I want you to come. I want us to meet.
There's nothing else I'm wishing for, thn to feel your warming heat .
If there was anything I could do. If there was anything I could say.
I would scream it out aloud, and fold my hand's and pray.
I wish for you to hug me tight. Say you'll love me through the night.
Kiss me on the lips and say. "Trust my love forever, okey?"

Föralltid < '3


Solitude * Vacancy <3

Appointment.

Well thn.. mum've booked an appointment for my knee now.. but it's not before 2 weeks... *sigh* I've to go n have pain in it for 2 weeks more.. well I guess I have to suit myself since I didnt book an appointment earlier...
Tho I've a hard time sittin as I like... well it's jus sumthin I have to live with atm... *sigh*

I got the wierdest comment 2daz... whn I sat on the physics Manda made a joke, baad one, n so I didnt laugh n she jus, "Marre it feels like you've lost your will to live". . . . . . o.O W T F ?! Im sry I doesnt always laugh at everything n that Im very tired n that I wanna focus on the lesson.. o.O....... erh...... I've got nothing further to say bout that....

I've got a very cool song to play on now on my guitarlessons.. :) it's old but it's cool.. it sounds cool, n it feels proffesional that I can play it ;) haha


I never know what you do... I dont know what goes on in your life from that point that you leave the computer 'til that point you call me or loggs in again... I wish I shared that with you...
I want you to come here, with all of my heart n all of my soul.. If there was anything at all that I could do to make your mum let you come here alone, I would fuckin do it.. I dont wish for anything else that you will come here week 44.. But I guess that God hates me way to much to let that happen... I jus have to wait n see..
I love you <3


Solitude * Vacancy <3

Party.

Well okey, thn im home again after a night of partyin....feels.. not that gd rly... i dont achieve anything from it..
I... no.. nvm... im soon of to bed anyways so.. I'll jus sleep on it.. hopefully it's better 2moz :) I wonder what I should do 2moz... well, that's 2moz trouble... or, later on 2daz whn i wake up...



I want you..


I need you..


I love you..



Solitude* Vacancy <3

Hear my whispers in the dark.

Okey.. my life isnt that gd atm actually... it's pretty much now.. okey, I'll count;
  • Biology - test tomorrow
  • English - speach tomorrow.
  • Swedish - review, paper about Afrodite, paper about runewriting.
  • Physics - new chapter.
  • Math - new chapter.
  • French - read and translate a text for tomorrow.
Can you see my issue? if you dont I jus wanna kill you...... very bad...
Well Im off to Manda's soon to study.. hopefully I'll catch up a bit in everything.. but prolly not.. since it's Manda Im goin to.. no offence ;D well I think it's me.. bcs no1 feel like study whn Im there ;S every1 jus loses their studyability... im a virus ;D WOHAHAHA... not fun..
well aye, it's my curse.. that Im not s'pose to be able to study.. "yay".. fuckin shit life.. I jus wanna kill it.. pmsl, listen o me.. I wanna kill my own life.. how the fuck to you kill your life........ eeerrrhmm.. o.O....................................................
oh.. sry, where were I.. hmm.. okey, nvm.. it wasnt that importent... ;D

<3

Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is, just waiting
to turn your tears to roses

I will be the one that's gonna hold you
I will be the one that you run to
My love is, a burning
consuming fire

No
You'll never be alone
When darkness comes
I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark

No
You'll never be alone
When darkness comes you know
I'm never far
Hear my whispers in the dark

<3

I have NOOOO idea at all where i have you.. where you stand and what you feel or what you're upto.. you dont .. I dunno.. you feel so different now.. like you dont like me at all anymore.. or, it feels like before whn we talk.. or whn we cam.. but otherwise, it's like I dont exist in you life.. you dont manage to txt me anymore.. you dont write to me as you use to.. and you dont say I love you anymore.. have you stoped loving me? or have you never loved me ? How can I know.. I cant know.. since i cant read your mind.. oh god, I so wish I could read ppl's minds... I sure as hell wish I could read your... well... you're comin here in 4 weeks... so I guess I'll see what happens thn.. if you're as you've said n acted.. or if you're jus another guy... I so hope that you're different, since I love you n I wanna be with you... I so wish that I could move down to you... it's what I wish for the most.......
I wish you could show me how you feel.. well that's kinda hard, so I wish you could TELL me how you feel.. where we stand and what you think bout everything.. I dont wanna go round, wonderin all the time... talk to me.... </3

Solitude* Vacancy <3

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