Off I go.
I dunno what it is but it jus feels like every1's mad n in a baaad mood like ;S Í dunno why.. . Maybe bcs of the bad weather. . . I always get in a bad mood whn it's ranin, I dunno, jus see no need for happiness in the rain ;D Prolly jus need to see Nic, wohahah, it's her fault. It's bcs I havnt seen her. . . I need to meet my better half so I can get sum light in my life, startin to get all dark n quiet ;D
Jag Älskar Dig <3
When the world has gone
When the darkness falls
Dive into the falseness
of your empty halls
Inhale the greed
inhale the ache
take away your pride
and put it in a stash
Take a close look
of what everything has been
Make sure you know your path
and insure that you'll overwin <3
Solitude * Vacancy <3
Vacation time then.
Okey thn. . Bet I'll be of 2moz on this trailer trip thn :) After all this waitin it'll finally happen. Im longing :) Tho it'll be borin leavin town for a while, I'll miss it all <33 And it sucks cuz it's ALWAYS the same fuckin way !! I dont have anything to do the first couple of weeks since EVERY1's workin or goin away. .. N thn the second month my mumndad gets their holidays n so we go away.. .. n then EVERY1 of my friends gets bk from their vacation or quit their jobs. . . MY LUCK, fuckin arse. . . So I go away whn every1 gets "available" . .DARN LIFE ! Well aye, I've to deal with it. . Well guess Im soon old enough to go on my own vacation. . I prolly be off nxt year on my own vacation with friends :) Would be wonderful ! Thn I have my drivers licence <3 Prolly ;D I bet I'll not manage to take it :P Since I have kinda this disorder so I have a hard time focusin in jus one thing Xp It rly bothers me ;D But hey, what can I do. . . wohahahaha, anyways :)
OMG ! I jus found out 2daz (whn I jus woke up, came out in the kitchen in my jammies n geee, there's my dad's friend sittin on a chair.. my luck) that we're gon spend an ENTIRE FUCKIN week with Annika n Rickard. . . O M G !! WTF am I s'pose to do thn?! Huh ?! they've two small girls like, what, 4,5 years YOUNGER thn me. . Oh gee, rly fun -.- NOT ! constlantly buggin me. . omg. . . They're so bitchy as well. . . oh plz. I cant take that. . . Well aye, parents. . They jus cant say no can they. . . STUPID ! Well aye, I'll jus sneak a tent n camp sumwhere else -.- Beside an HOT guys trailer mebe (A) By "accident" (A) Wohahahaha, AAAANGEL ;D Well . . we'll see how it ends up. Prolly be fun anyways. .I'll not try to let anything get in my way of an WONDERFUL vacation ! <3
MARC'S A PERV !!!! ;D Jus so every1 knows that, pmsl. So... WATSH OUT *lookin round* (So FUCKS to you!)
I couldnt manage to live my life without you babes <3 You're my everything n I'll always love you. End of storie. You're my oxygen n my entire world. You must get home n get your card so I can call you whnever babes, I alrdy miss your voice n we talked yesterday <3 You're the best person ever n you're the best thing that've ever happened to me. Dont ever leave me :) I'll love you till the end of the world, evern if you'dnt love me back <3
Strong words with strong meaning;
Jag älskar dig <3
Aye thn. . PMSL.. havnin the most STRANGE conversation with Marc now. . Dude SERIOUSLY?! ;P It's astonishin that you're a lesbien women. . wohahaha ;D I've to stop eat candy like. . it's not gd for me, I get all wierd n shit. . Too much sugar ;S Cant help it thn *addicted* <3
LONGING FOR TOMORROW !!! <3 Hopefully I'll meet you thn sis <33 Been longing for you waaaaaaay too long now <3 You better get your arse home 2moz since dad seems astonishinly sure that we're goin 2moz ! So if you're not home by thn we'll prolly not meet for another 3 weeks !!! HOW'LL I MANAGE THAT ?! HUH ?! I'll NOT ! Well aye, you've changed card to your cell so we'll prolly be in touch more often thn :) I LOVE YOU THROUGH IT ALL BABES (L)
You're my better half. My everything. Yours forever. Till forever do us part. I love you. <3
Well I better get into bed now :) Im off for a hard day 2moz. Packin n shit. . Booooring .. *snore* Well anyways, it must be done :) Good night every1 n sweet dreams :) Love you to the bitter end my friends <3
Solitude * Vacancy <3
Well then.
Well anyways, it'll be fun gettin away. . Thn I dont have to care bout anythin :) I can jus enjoy the hot guys all round *drewl* wohahaha Well yeah, I'm gon put an pic of our trailer in so you can see it :D
Wohooo, see this is our trailer :) <3 It's cool aiiight. . It's rainin outside so it's waterpools everywhere :D
I've finally downloaded this RLY cool techno kind asong <333 It's the best ever, I've so bad memorie that I've never remembered it all the way from the tv to the comp XD haha Tho it's the best :)
Hellogoodbye - Here (in your arms)
the one that lies to close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love
in love with you suddenly
now theres nowhere else i could be
but here in your arms
Well aye, I've built 2gether a grill 2daz, pmsl ;D it sucked -.- The stupid grill didnt want to be built. . it hated me.. so in the end I jus left everythin to dad. . it's much better, felt like I were breakin it. . So it's better if dad breaks it ;D Not as much yellin at me thn ;D
Jag älskar dig <3
There's sumthin wrong with 2daz, I jus cant figure out what it is like.. It feels like everythin's wierd.. like, unreal in sum way... Like this isnt me n this isnt my life, n my family n my friends n my house... N I couldnt fall asleep this night either ! Fuckin shit, read the last chapters in "The Lord Of The Flies". . omg, I cried ;S It's sooo sad.. They're so FUCKIN mean !! I've the last chapter unread yet tho. . Jus didnt feel like readin anymore. N thn Oskar called me half past 1 ! -.- Stupid arse, his friend answered, "hey.... you wanna have sex?" . . stupid fuck, why ask? OFC I wanna have sex with you.. You dont even have to ask that lols.. . pmsl, no Im jus kiddin .. ;D haha Well thn I'd a chat with Oskar, was ages ago we spoke lol ;S It was cool :) He's a nice guy, tho a little to big a sex intressed for his age ;D But hey, no1's perfect ^^
lol, dad's wierd. . ;D I'm wearin this hood on me n so I went up to the kitchen n mum's like.. "You have a pretty wierd daughter you know..." n dad's like "I know... cant even get the grill 2gether, oh my. . " n thn mum got half mad at him like "You shouldnt say that ! She's been so good at it. Mebe she takes it the wrong way whn you say so !" n dad's like "Ooooh, Im sry, yeah she's 'sooooo' gd ! She deserves to move to Mongolian!" . . . . .Mongolian?! Oh gee dad thx alot.. WTF am I suppose to do that ?! Build grills ?! Fuckin shitheaded man ^^
IF YOU'RE ALRDY EXHAUSED OF MY BLOG, DON'T READ THIS, IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTENT. IT'S JUS AN EXTRACT FROM THE LORD OF THE FLIES. :)
'You are a silly little boy,' said tha Lord of the
Flies, 'just an ignorant, silly little boy.'
Simon moved his swollen tongue but said
nothing.
'Don't you agree?' said the Lord of the
Flies. 'Aren't you just a silly little boy?'
Simon answered him in the same silent
voice.
'Well then,' said the Lord of the Flies,
'you'd better run off play with the others.
They think you're batty. You don't want
Ralph to think you're batty, do you? You like
Ralph a lot, don't you? And Piggy, and Jack?'
Simon's head was tilted slightly up. His
eyes could not break away and the Lord of the
Flies hung in space before him.
'What are you doing out here all alone?
Aren't you afraid of me?'
Simon shook.
'There isn't anyone to help you. Only me.
And I'm the Beast.'
Simon's mouth laboured, brought forth
audible words.
'Pig's head on a stick.
'Fancy thinking the Beast was something
you could hun and kill!' said the head. For a
moment or two the forest and all the other
dimly appreciated places echoed with the
parody of laughter. 'You knew, didn't you?
I'm part of you? Close, close, close! I'm the
reason why it's no go? Why things are what
they are?'
The laughter shivered again.
'Come now,' said the Lord of the Flies. 'Get
back to the others and we'll forget the whole
thing.'
Simon's head wobbled. His eyes were half-
closed as though he were imitating the
obscene thing on the stick. He knew that one
of his times was coming on. The Lord of the
Flies was expanding like a balloon.
'This is ridiculous. You know perfectly well
you'll only meet me down there---so don't try
to escape!'
Simon's body was ached and stif. The
Lord of the Flies spoke in the voice of a
schoolmaster.
'This has gone quite far enough. My poor,
misguided child, do you think you know
better than I do?'
There was a pause.
'I'm warning you. I'm going to get waxy.
D'you see? You're not wanted. Understand?
We are going to have fun on this island.
Understand? We are going to have fun on this
island! So don't try it on, my poor misguided
boy, or else---'
Simon found he was looking into a vast
mouth. There was blackness within, a black-
ness that spread.
'---Orelse,' said the Lord of the Flies, 'we
shall do you. See? Jack and Roger and Mau-
rice and Robert and Bill and Piggy and
Ralph. Do you. See?'
Simon was inside the mouth. He fell down
and lost consciousness.
I kinda like this part :) I dunno, it's rly confusin n wierd.. N prolly sumthin I'd be able to do.. . After been livin on a island for a long time :D Lyin on a rock, talkin to an pig's head ^^ Well aye, every1 cant be all healthy can they ;D
Well I'll prolly end it here, you're alrdy SICK TIRED of me by now ;D Love yah all anyways <333
N okey okey, fucks to yah Marc, happy? ;D
Solitude<3
Moodswings FTW
I LOVE YOU BABE, AND I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
Im a girl, I jus make love more difficult thn it accually is :D it's my purpose in life, love me anyway? :$
Hey, can't kick the habit
Yeah, I got to have it
Yeah, I'm what they call a
Love addict, love addict
Hey, can't live without it
Yeah, g'on, shout about it
Hey, I'm a symptomatic
Love addict, love addict
Jag Älskar Dig <3
Solitude * Vacancy <3
Going nun!
Seriously ! Im going nun ! No one can stop me and I will not be stoped ! I can take this fucking shit anymore! Why do I have to live with all this PAIN and thinking about, what are you doing, whom are you with, what are you talking about, to you think of me. I will STOP caring about it. Im DONE, finito! Never again, It's.... over. Oh god, what am I saying. Look what you are doing to me ! I am sitting here telling you that it's OVER ! That I never wanna be with you again, have long conversations about non important this and hear your voice and share your thoughts. Why are you doing this to me?! Why dont you care about me and ME only?! Why do you have to ignore me and never return my msgs and shit! It's driving me INSANE hunny, insane! Because I can not stop thinking about you either! You are ruining my summer! I just wanna be able to relax and I do not want to think about you and your STUPID love !
I still care for you but this is just getting to much for my heart and soul to handle babe. I do not know how much of this I can take. I am going away with my family for some weeks. I do not know if I am going to tell you about that of if I am just going to leave it as it is. You might not even care. From now on, from this moment, I am not going to come to you, from now on, it is YOUR turn to come to me. . . End of storie. I am tired of beeing the one who should manage to TAKE IT ALL. I am sick of beeing the one in the middle. I am THROUGH with everything about you and everything around you. If you still love me, if you have ever loved me, then you wil come to me. And untill then, I am just going to enjoy life. Whether it will be a life with, OR, without you babe. I can live my life without you, but it will not be easy at all and it will not be the life I wanted to live. Beacuse babe, that is a life WITH you.
Okey, you are getting back to me NOW?! I am not going to play "everything is fine" with you anymore. You have ignored me for way to long now. I am not going to take this at all. I love you but . . . <3
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Fergie - Big girls dont cry
Solitude <3
Allright.
2daz, mum n dad've started to clean the house n do all the laundry. . It's a sign that we're soon goin away.. N so mum said we're packin the trailer 2moz, so we're RLY goin thn :) Well I aint that pleased of it.. yet, since Sis isnt home yet :'( COME HOME !! I have to see you b4 I leave orelse I'll go balunee ;D Well seriously, I'll not manage the ENTIRE summer without seein you, cant you get that. . . You're my better half, I HAVE to see you once in a while. . . Orelse I'll get lost to the dark side or sumthin ;D You'll never know ;P
Anyways, come home so I can hug you for ages n so I can go away on vacation, sane ! :D
Without you - Insane , With you - Sane
Well thn, do I have to go away on vacation mad at you? I cant help getttin mad at you whn I dont hear from you n whn you're startin to keep things from me. . It's not my fault, I believe in trust hunny, TRUST, how do I know I can trust you if you're not tellin me everything.. N now I havnt heard from you anything at all... Why dont you txt me n ASK me to call you. If you dont wanna waste money on your phone (I get you, I do, Im in guilt for havnin you waste all that money on me) so jus txt me n I'll call YOU. I dont care bout my money, havnt wasted as much money on you as you've on me so if anything I owe you. N so I dont give a damn, what does money mean if I love you, huh? Well anyways, I hope I'll hear from yah.. Dont feel like tellin you Im leavin since it feels like you're not gon care... Why would yah, now you've weeks n weeks to not think of me but to think bout your ex. . . Sigh, okey I have to stop thinkin like this. Over n out with you. Im leavin it to it's destiny :) I love you anyways <3
Wohahahah, okey now mum n dad came home :P Startin the daily routine of complainin bout my comp sittin, bla bla bla bla. . . :P Retards, I have to sit now bcs I'll not be sittin as much later on. . . Tho dad's a portable comp he'll bring, so I wont be TOTALLY out of your picture. . You cant get rid of me THAT easily ;)
I've found a new favorite word tho ;D Vacancy. Seriously, dont you hear. . it jus speaks to yah, VACANCY :P I have no vacancy left in my heart, it's filled with Joakim n Nicitha <3 Cuz you two're my everything :$
Hahahaha, lmao, I helped mum hang the laundry n so she looked in my pocket n was like "what to you have here thn. . money?" n she pulled out sum money outta my pocket, n I was like, "So you wash money now ? ^^" N I took the money n hung it on the clothesline n I shouted at dad like "Dad come over here n look what mum's doin ! ;D" n he came n I said "Look, she's washin money ;O" N he jus lauged n said "Lucky thing no1 sees you thn". N mum said "It's not mine, it's you daughter's drug money she got from wanderin off last night. . ."
There's sumthin seriously wrong with my parents, byt hey, no1's perfect so I love them ;D <33
Well now mum's rly complainin, so I better get off the comp thn ;D Love y'all <33
Solitude * Vacancy <3
Suckers.
Im headin out with Ante n jus ought I'd write sumthin b4 I go ;D Since I bet I wont write anythin whn I come bk, since I bet thats . . late ;D hahah If mum even will let me out at this hour.. . she bet she is. . orelse. . I'll go out anyways.. wohahah ;D
Well Andreas' not patience. . . so I'd better get goin now ;D
Over n out ;D Talk to y'all 2moz I bet ;) Love y'all, n fucks to yah Marc !! ;D <33
N this blog is dedicated to yah, Sis, it's not that long, see.. I managed to write an nonmiles long blog ;D Proud?
Anyways, I love you through it all <33333
I skip the italic txt for this blog, its jus depressive ;D Since I havnt heard from yah ;D So I dont wanna write bout it ! I dont CARE ! Do whatever you want, you might not even love me anyways . . . </3 Darn, I couldnt manage ONE blog, ONE, without you in it. . You feckin cocksucker.. okey not, I love you <333
Solitude <3
07.07.07
It's pretty cool ;D That the date is 07.07.07. . . I know, Im easely entertained ^^ Not my fault, tho it has it's benefits :)
Okey, I've been thinkin 2daz, *shocker* haha, n I came forwards to that.. I love my family ;D Seriously, it's the best ever... They're the most fun ppl in the world n we can joke with eachother 24/7 n no1 cares ;D Like 2daz, mum's wearin this garment whish looks like you're wearin a sweater ontop of an shirt. . n dad jus makes fun of her sayin she looks like an air hostess :P N he goes round sayin, "tea? tea any1?" n jus make fun of her ;D N it's sooo darn funny, hahaha. I've jus been sittin with them playin cards n messin round with every1, haha. N dad's sittin there, thinkin he's king, photographin with his new phone, stupid :D N mum jus sits, singin on this stupid swedish song called "once upon a time there was a bird". . haha lmao, jus sum stupid techno song, pretty gd accually but nvm :P Now me n dad's jus messin round seein whom plays the loudest music ^^ Ordinary thing among this family, me n dad always completes bout that :P
Anyways, I've been burnin out sum CD's 2daz as well :D It was cool, dad'd bought sum empty CD's :) So I burned one to him n 4 for me XD fair doos ^^ Wohahaha, I won the music war with dad :D He send me an txt on my phone XD hahahahah. My family in a nutshell, they always txt me whn Im by the comp cuz they've lernt I dont hear anything whn they shout ^^
Anyways, Im off beein with Andreas soon I think. . He wanted to be with me :) Tho he dunno what we should do yet.. lmao, didnt feel like beein with any1 if they dont know what we should do :P I hate that, beein with sum1 jus sittin doin nothing. . haha.
Wohahaha, yeah I have to do this italics (PMSL, cant still get that's the name for "kursiv" in english.) writin too :D
Okey so I should be pleased, you sent me txt msgs 2daz. .. But it feels wrong. . . You were goin away on vacation whish you'd never told me ;O You tell me EVERYTHING ! How come you havnt told me that?! But you jus sent me sum txt msgs thn yah stoped. . I wonder whn yah get bk, n what you're doin. . Bet I wont hear from yah till you get bk. . . You prolly call your ex or sumthing. . . :/ How do I know if you like me if you act all strange all the freckin time. . </3333
Im with Andreas now.. he's here. . Fuckin EEJIT XD omg. . Im laughin my arse off, pmsl. . .
Anyways, Im over n out now :D love y'all<333
Solitude<3
WOHAHAHAAH ;D
It sucks hun, I had my phone in the computer IM SRY !! So I didnt reseve your txt msg until like, now :/ Well I hope I hear from yah 2moz as well . . love yah still <33
Shortest blogg ever ;D Cuz Im off to bed :D Fucks to yah Marc !!! ;D N love to yah rest, PMSL <3
Solitude <3
Why can't life be easy?
Seriously, how can this be so trouble like. . . I havnt met you yet for cryin out load ! How can I think bout you this much ?! How can I care bout you this much ?! How can I love you . . . ? Why cant me meet n you could hold me n say that everything'll be allright n that this is all jus a bad dream n that Im the only one you love n that you wanna spend the rest of your life with me. . . Cuz I would say that to you. . . Why cant you be on your way here n jus surprise me with your wonderful presence. I want you here, I want you beside me in my bed, holdin me so that I felt safe. You make me feel safe. I dont care what you say or what you do, as long as you dont hurt me, or lie to me. Trust, that's what matters.. . I love you bcs you're so open, you never hide things from me. . . I hope, bcs what do I know? You can jus be lyin bout EVERYTHING as far as Im consern. . . You can jus make everything up, tryin to make me do things jus bcs you wanna make your ex jealous? I have NO idea of what you feel. . . You still care bout her, your ex, n what she does n whom she's with. She dumped you ! You didnt want her back ! Why do you care?! So what if it feels like she dumped you for another guy?! If you dont want her back why do you care?! Why do you care so much? It jus makes me feel more like, in the way. . . Maybe it's gods will for you to be with her all your life, thn so be it. I love you n I always will even if you dont love me. I will always be glad I met you n I'll ALWAYS wanna be your friend, knowin you, sharin our thoughts. . . I need you in my life, you're one half of my heart. . . Cant live with jus half a heart can I ?. . . You're wonderful n open like, you tell me everything, haha, I love that. You can jus be you. You're not affraid what ppl think or say, you jus do as you like.. . I rly love that bout you. . You have what I dont. . . Selfconfidence. I need that. . I need you. I KNOW I've said that like a hundred times, haha, I can say it a hundred times more. . . n thn a hundred times more after that, cuz it'll be as true as it was the first time I said it. . .
You've told me, that you liked me more thn you like her, n that she's jus jeaous of me. . . Is that what you're aimin for? Is that you goal?! Cuz if it wasnt, why would you care if she went to another guy, why would you care if you RLY loved me?! Cuz you have me, you have me damn gd hunny. . . If you jus loved me, n nothing else. . You would jus "be" with me n make sure I get, that Im all you want. . . You jus sit, tellin me how CUTE I am. . . N jus wantin me to tell you I love you. . So I did, cuz I sure as hell do, you jus want to make sure I RLY mean it. For cryin out loud I hanvt been able to tell you for like a year ! I've known you for like what, 2 years? You dont think I've had TIME to think this through ?! I've had all the time in the world, thinkin this through. . . Im done thinkin, I've made my decision. . . YOU, you are my decision. . I want you, n no one else. . . I wanna share EVERYTHING with you, gd OR bad. . . hard or easy. . I jus need to know what YOU rly feel. . I know what I feel. . . You know, kinda, how I feel. . I've told you I love you god damnit, doesnt that mean ANTYHING to you?!
I have a hard time believin you rly love me, like "I-wanna-spend-my-life-with-you"-i-love-you kinda way. Cuz if you did. . . You wouldnt keep it from the world, sayin that whn ppl say they believe Im inlove with you, you jus say, "Yeah so, what if she is? i dont care, she can if she wants to. It jus flatters me." . . . If you'd rly loved me. . . you'd say, "Yeah she might, n I HOPE she doest, bcs you know what. . . Im inlove with her too, what you gon do bout it?"
I dont wanna think anymore, I dont wanna breathe n I dont wanna love you. . . I dont wanna be your poppet n I dont wanna be hurt by any1 ever again. . . My heart cant take more defeat, it's to fragile like. . .
"
Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.
"
Craig David - Unbelievable
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I love you Percy, Idol !!! ;D You're the best in the world. . . I've missed you LOADS while you've been at your camp :) You always make me smile n laugh :D You rock ma world babe. Hope you'll never leave me life ;D Cuz you'll take a big part of my joy n laughter :) You are my sunshine in the dark <3
Serious babe, you made me laugh shitloads 2night XD Keep up the gd work, I surely need it ^^ LOVE YOU <3
Well this is it for 2night I think :) Im all happy now thanks to Percy XD (L) So I'll better stop this blog now ;D leavin you ANY time for sumthing else thn readin my blog all your life... cuz it got RLY long ;D sry:$ Well I love you all my friends :)
Solitude<3
What should I do?
I'm off from the comp now anyways. . Been sittin here all day n I feel the unpleasent feelin of that this is not healthy XD haha n Im startin to have nothing to do here n it wouldnt be that gd if mum came home n I'm sittin here, since she said that I couldnt sit here 2daz (A) Well aye, Im not an angel, so I can do bad things (A) woahahaha. .
I wanna go down to Gothenburg, RL bad ! Im hatin this. . . I sumtimes feel I wanna know what you do. . I kinda never know what you do, I get to know it later on whn you tell it to me. N that's not even sure you tell the truth, or all of it. . I wanna be with you, I wanna experience everything with you. I want you (L) I ave to see you this year, seriously I cant make it so much further without you. . Plz come to me <3 I've alrdy desided that Im goin to you at my 18th birthday or sumtime after. Bcs thn mum cant deside what I should do, n you're the only thing I wish for atm, I love you <3
Seriously ?! Why do I miss you ?!?!?! I have no right to miss you :P You've only caused my life pain n sufferin, so why do I miss that? why do I miss your. . beautiful smile. . . your wonderful alughter n jokes... Omg, I so haveto get you outta my mind ! This is not healthy ! I DONT like you ! I dont ! ;k . . . . . oh god, who'm I foolin, you'll always be in my heart. . . I wish you'd seen that b4. . . well, this must come to an end. Im not allwed to think bout you ANYMORE ! this is it. The End.
I'll see if I'll be on later :) Dunno what mum thinks bout that ;D But we'll see. I love y'all <3
Solitude <3
Aiiight.
The night was awful ! I couldnt sleep ! It sucked, omg. . . I read first for like sum hours, thn I tried to sleep but I couldnt. . . It was too hot, it was too cold, it was too bright n everything was jus wrong ! I couldnt stop thinkin bout yah either, I dunno why. . It felt like I jus wanted to run down to yah n tell you "I love you" like a million times. . . It felt wierd, so at 00.00 I desided to write it to yah in a txt msg, so I did :) Havnt got an answere yet tho, why wont you return my txt msgs? I wrote yah two yesterday n you didnt answere those either. Is it sumthing wrong with your phone ? Sure as hell hopes so, it'll kill me if you're jus ignorin my msgs. But okey, you called me yesterday so I shouldnt be mad at you, I cant be mad at you. . You mean to much to me :) Anyways, I have no idea whn I at last fell asleep, but it felt like the time was like.. 3, 4 or sumthing. . . stupid "not be able to sleep" feelin. . I hate whn it happens. . grr, n I couldnt continue readin the book cuz it was too scary ;D hahaha Cant help it, it got rly warm whn I read it the first time since I had to use all my pillows n quilts that I had in the bed ;D But hey, it's a gd book :) "Lord of the flies", horrible movie, omg. . So I had to read the book, it's accually in english too :) I was at the library sum days ago n lended sum english books for entertainment this summer :) So I kinda walk round thinkin in english ;D haha Well I dont mind :P hahah btw, another thing, it was rly funny whn I woke up :P I think I'd dreamt that I'd woke up, turned on the phone n looked at the clock who'd been 02.42 n thn fallen alseep again. . So whn I woke up I started to look after my phone since I thought it'd happened irl but I couldnt find it, thn I looked where I put it b4 I got to bed n there it was, off ;D that was scary, since it felt sooo rl whn I'd dreamt it ;D Well aye, wierd things happens ^^
You dont believe that the fuckin power would go off whn I go seated by the comp -.- FUCKIN SHIT ! I'd got seated n logged in everywhere n so I went to get my phone on the bed n the whole fuckin house turn black -.- I almost smashed the phone in the wall. . . omg, it was the worst 15mins of my entire life, I bet yah ! I'd nothin to do. . . I jus prayed that the battery on my phone would hold until the power'd got back ;D haha God im sad. . . Seriously I have no life :D
Well anyways, Im starvin now. . better get sumthing to eat b4 I'll die... Well, like there'll be sum lost for the world ^^ wohahaha, sry had to say it (A) Okey, now I'll go get sumthing to eat. I play you a song while Im gone, enjoy. . .
| if i held my ground would you ask me to change this drought bleeds on now were dancing for rain we drink the air but its still not the same these worlds colide but the distance remains we point the finger, never accept the blame and i know.. i know | |
| you've let me try but i'm still breathing i swear i'm sucking dry the sky and you wont ever find us kneeling or swollowing your lies |
Rise Against - Dancing For Rain <3
So okey, gd song aye? ;D I love it, you can think whatever :P Well I've got a bowl with yoghurt n raspberries ! NEAT <3 It's sooo gd, yah cant imagine :)
It still bothers me that I cant use the left, center, right thingy on ma blogs -.-' I rly would like to have that, it's workin ma nervs rly. . . Well that's sumthing I have to deal with, among many other things here in life. .
I wonder what I'll be doin 2daz, the weather is. . . not that great. My friends are all workin n sis' not even in the same town ! Oh gee, whatta life I have ;P Well. . I'll jus lay n finnish my book ;D I rly wanted to read it through yesterday but I couldnt manage it in the dark ;D HAHAH Have to continue readin it 2daz, wanna know what comes nxt. . Tho I know that since I've seen the movie :P but anyways :) I say "anyways" pretty much dont I ^o) Well I think it's a gd word ^^ Not my fault :P it suits in jus everywhere ^^
Well okey, I think I'll end it here, orelse I wont manage to read it through sum other time ;D Have to stop writin so darn long blogs, I dunno, whn I get started it all jus comes to me n I write whatever pops up in ma brain like. . it bothers me ;D well anyways, hahah, you'll hear from me later on 2daz prolly ;P Music FTW <3
Solitude <3
Last for 2daz.
I have to stop this, I have to put limits ! One blog/day ! NO more, no less, woahaha ;D
Well I think it might not be any 2moz, since mum jus told me I couldnt sit 2moz since I've been sittin to much 2daz. . . *dow* What kinda crap is that?! There's nothing as "too much computer sittin", why cant growups see that ? They're blind, or they dont wanna see.. Pick an oppsion. . Well anyways, I thought I'll jus write one more 2daz n I've made up for 3 days so, enjoy these it might not come anymore for some days :P
Im leavin nxt week, for a couple of weeks I think. . . campin trip with the family, neat :) I long for it, many gd looks guys n stuff ;D wohahaha. . I have to stop talkin to Marc, this "wohahaha" thing is goin to ma head ;D haha It's all your fault !! :P You evil lesbien women :D Anyways, campin trip with the family is gd, jus enjoy life n go into every store ever made ;D haha Naaaat :P Not much of an shoppin person :P I like jus walkin round THINKIN I might shop sumthin :P Much cheaper too ;D
Glad you called at last <3 Was worried there for a while that you'd forgotten bout me. Sure hope you never will. Cuz I sure as hell will never forget you, i love you to the bitter end babe <3 Hope we meet this summer or b4 the end of the year anyways, either way I'll be the happiest person in the world, even if I dont get to meet you this year. I've got to know you n I love you n I can live on that forever n ever. You'll always be my golden star on my heaven <3
LONGING FOR YOU TO COME HOME SIS <33
I'll jump n shout whn I see you ;D This is killin me, not seen you for weeks.. It cant happen again. . I'll die thn, I love you till forever do us part (L) You're my better half, couldnt make this life without you. I LOVE YOU <3
Well aiight, Im over n out now :) Going upstairs, or to bed, whatever :) Love y'all who means the most to me, you know who you are, glad I have you <3
Solitude <3
Caught up.
This sucks :P I've got caught up in writin blogs ;D That's sick.. thought bout it all day n figured I had to write another one ;D Tho I have no idea of what it'll be bout, but hey, didnt know that last time either :P
Well aye, I've been at Hedlunda now takin a swin n lyin in the sun with Valentina:) It was great, tho it was some littluns runnin round there doin no gd ^o) But hey, like I were doin any gd ;D haha
Anyways, it was greeaat tho it was RLY hard bikin home again after lyin in the sun for hours :P But I managed it ;) Hardly ^^ Thanks for a great day hunny, it was fun seein you, it was all too long ago the last time <3
I dont get it, have I done sumthing ? Or are you hurt ?! :O Or wounded, or DEAD?! Why havnt I heard from you? :'( Im gettin hurt, I sended you an txt, two there is, but I havnt got anything back. . .why? If you dont answere me 2daz, Im sry, but I have to get mad at you. . Since you've called me every day since like, I got bk from Piteå. Seriously hunny, I cant think of you anymore.. plz get bk to me.. . Soon I'll start gettin worried that sumthing's happened to yah or anything ! I love you, get bk to me (L)
What shall I do now ? I have no idea, I have no idea of what to write bout either ;D Im outta ideas. Not allowed to write sumthing depressin either, bcs of Marc :P Marc's an eejit, wohahaha *evil grin*
Well anyways. . I can complain bout his FECKIN shit thingy !! Why THE FUCK cant I put one line on the freakin right side for?!?! STUPID SHIT THING IT DRIVES ME MAD !! OMG !! -.- I'll soon smash the fuck outta ma keytable.. damnit ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *breathe*. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well aye, try not to think bout it.
It's dark
It's cold
I can't see anything
And I have no one to hold
I'm shaking
And I can't see
I can't feel anything
I can't be me
I don't dare to move
I don't dare to talk
I can not breath
I can not walk
I'm stuck in this place
I'm stuck on the ground
Gonna sit alone in my solitude
And make no sound
Gonna marry the loneliness
Make it a part
Love it forever
Until death do us part...
Here you go hunny, an sad poem ! Wohahaah ;D Sry but I only have sad poems, nothing I can do bout it. MY life is sad n that's how it is, deal with it ;) Anyways, I'll jus sit here doin nothing waitin for you to call.. . Plz call, plz. . Dont like this feelin I have, so plz... For my sake, call me. I love you forever and ever (L)
Over and out. I'll prolly be bk 2moz with further information ;)
Solitude <3
Solitude FTW
Okey. . my first blog ever, neat. . . ? Erhm . . . I had like LOADS of shit on my mind for like 2 mins ago so I thought "what the hell" n created this blog thingy n now it's all gone like. . . . . . . Seriously, my brain jus stoped workin, it's scary like. . .
Well aye, anyways this is my Solitude <3 Solitude rocks, since there you dont have anyone to judge you or push you down, in my solitude, Im all by myself. Jus me, myself n I :) Neeat. . . . . . okey, I got bored of my solitude -.-
I dont think I got this all bloggy thing yet, need some practis I think. . . Jus dont judge me ! It's my solitude for cryin out loud :P N so this is my first blog ever, so keep your thoughts right where they are :P
I jus cant believe that you accually like me, it's kinda hard to get. . . I dont love myself, why would you ?!
Doesnt make sence like. . . Im to nervous bout us meetin I dont believe I'll make it that far . . You have to lower you standars babe, orelse I'll kill myself jus bcs of them. . . Im tryin to love myself but I jus cant, bcs I jus dont see anything to love ! How can you ?! You havnt seen me like I have, you dont know everything bout me n you dont know how I rly look. . . You dont know me irl n you dont know how I act bout ordinary, daily things. . . It's those tings that matters, it's those things that ppl live with. . . You havnt lived with me, so you dont rly know me until you have. So plz stop judgin me. Well okey, maybe it's not judgin me whn you say that Im pretty n gd look n shit, but I dont think I am so it rly feels like you're puttin the standards of what you want me to be. . . But what do I know, you might think I do look gd but until you've met me irl, Im sry, but I cant believe you. I can only feel bad bout myself, that I HAVE to look gd whn we meet n that I HAVE to be the most wonderful girl in the world whn we meet. . . I think I'll start cry whn I'll see you, cuz I'll be shit nervous, wondering bout what you think of me whn you see me. . . I'll not believe Im touchin you whn I am, it'll take time to sink in. . .
Okey now this sounds like I dont wanna meet you but omg hunny, I do ! I love you. . . I know I havnt been able to tell it to you that often, but you cant blame me, it's something rly big for me. . . I tell you whn it feels right, it might take us meetin b4 it feels all gd but if you love me you'll wait. . . Omg what if you dont love me ?! How would I know, rly, for sure? You can jus be playin me for all that I know. You can jus be usin me for gettin sum1 jealous or likely. I sure hope you're not, bcs if you are. . I'll never love a boy again, Im dead serious. I'll jus go. . nun or sumthin. . .
Seriously, I have to stop thinkin bout this. . . I can get serisouly hurt bout it. . . I think too much. I have to shut off my brain for a while, not bother bout anything. Why cant I jus live my life for once? Why cant I jus enjoy life like every1 else? Im a sad person, I dont desurve to live, plz give it to sum1 that accually enjoys life. Thank you.
Well Im off takin a swin in the water with Valentina now. <3
See you nxt time. Cuz this has become my home, my everything. . . my solitude <3
