Solitude FTW

Okey. . my first blog ever, neat. . . ? Erhm . . . I had like LOADS of shit on my mind for like 2 mins ago so I thought "what the hell" n created this blog thingy n now it's all gone like. . . . . . . Seriously, my brain jus stoped workin, it's scary like. . .
Well aye, anyways this is my Solitude <3 Solitude rocks, since there you dont have anyone to judge you or push you down, in my solitude, Im all by myself. Jus me, myself n I :) Neeat. . . . . . okey, I got bored of my solitude -.-
I dont think I got this all bloggy thing yet, need some practis I think. . . Jus dont judge me ! It's my solitude for cryin out loud :P N so this is my first blog ever, so keep your thoughts right where they are :P

I jus cant believe that you accually like me, it's kinda hard to get. . . I dont love myself, why would you ?!
Doesnt make sence like. . . Im to nervous bout us meetin I dont believe I'll make it that far . .  You have to lower you standars babe, orelse I'll kill myself jus bcs of them. . . Im tryin to love myself but I jus cant, bcs I jus dont see anything to love ! How can you ?! You havnt seen me like I have, you dont know everything bout me n you dont know how I rly look. . . You dont know me irl n you dont know how I act bout ordinary, daily things. . . It's those tings that matters, it's those things that ppl live with. . . You havnt lived with me, so you dont rly know me until you have. So plz stop judgin me. Well okey, maybe it's not judgin me whn you say that Im pretty n gd look n shit, but I dont think I am so it rly feels like you're puttin the standards of what you want me to be. . . But what do I know, you might think I do look gd but until you've met me irl, Im sry, but I cant believe you. I can only feel bad bout myself, that I HAVE to look gd whn we meet n that I HAVE to be the most wonderful girl in the world whn we meet. . . I think I'll start cry whn I'll see you, cuz I'll be shit nervous, wondering bout what you think of me whn you see me. . . I'll not believe Im touchin you whn I am, it'll take time to sink in. . .
Okey now this sounds like I dont wanna meet you but omg hunny, I do ! I love you. . . I know I havnt been able to tell it to you that often, but you cant blame me, it's something rly big for me. . . I tell you whn it feels right, it might take us meetin b4 it feels all gd but if you love me you'll wait. . . Omg what if you dont love me ?! How would I know, rly, for sure? You can jus be playin me for all that I know. You can jus be usin me for gettin sum1 jealous or likely. I sure hope you're not, bcs if you are. . I'll never love a boy again, Im dead serious. I'll jus go. .  nun or sumthin. . .
Seriously, I have to stop thinkin bout this. . . I can get serisouly hurt bout it. . . I think too much. I have to shut off my brain for a while, not bother bout anything. Why cant I jus live my life for once? Why cant I jus enjoy life like every1 else? Im a sad person, I dont desurve to live, plz give it to sum1 that accually enjoys life. Thank you.

Well Im off takin a swin in the water with Valentina now. <3

See you nxt time. Cuz this has become my home, my everything. . . my solitude <3

Postat av: sis<3

he'll love ya forever and ever sis..ur like the best ever:D who doesnt live you=)
i love you<3

2007-07-05 @ 17:43:38

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