Hard life?

Seriously.. I've been thinkin (wow, how unusual..) aye well .. guys does always get away with beein fat.. seriously! Girls must look slim n hot, whn guys can be overweight n shit... How normal is it to see a FAT chick with a hot, well trained guy ? Seriously... It's more normal to see a FAT guy with a thin, beautiful girl... It BOTHERS me ! (since im fat you know..) It's the same on tv n among celebrities... How many FAT celebrity girls you know bout ?... huh ? I know, NON like ! There's like loads of FAT guys that's famous ! Guys get away with overweight.. girls dont... How unfaire isnt the world, seriously...
It's like the girls get more famous the more they get in shape... the more thin n sexy they get, the more famous they get.. the more silicone they put in their body, the more famous they get... Guys jus have to earn alot of money n get well known, n BAM, they're famous... The bigger jewellerys they have, the bigger car they have.. the more famous they get.. The hotter girls they can get, the more famous they get... It's indeed a STUPID world we live in... Seriously, GET REAL !

Jus wanted to get ot out XD

Over n out, Im off beein with BestFriend Andreas now:$
See you folks, love you <33 Fucks to Marc ;) rawr<3

Solitude * Vacanacy <3

Good Life -,^

You're the sweetest ever babe :) I have no idea what I should do without you... We've talked like LOADS the last couple of days n I love it <3 But I dunno what it's with you... it feels like you've lost your will to live or sumthin... like you dont care bout life anymore.. N it feels like you liked me more whn you were 2gether with your gf... But hey, you say you didnt.. Im sry if im such a pain in the arse babe, but I cant help it.. I need to know how you feel n think orelse it'll drive me mad... you have to tell me cuz I cant read your mind n you're way to far away for me to SEE that sumthin's wrong.. But we've talked bout it n you say it's jus a phase.... I jus have to believe you dont I... I love it whn you're so sweet... I dunno, but sumtimes late at night you get very cozy n I jus love talkin n txtin with you thn <3 It rly makes me in a great mood, you always make me in a gd mood babe... Even tho we have had our.. "times" lately, I still like you as I did before.. if not more <3 Im hopin you'll come here soon <3 It's sooo far away the autumn break... :/ Well, I bet I've to deal with it.... I miss you <3 It sucks that mum wont let me go to you, but I'll go to you whn i turn 18 in like 6 months :)
N yeah, you turn 16 2moz, happy birthday in advance <33 It would've been the best if I could come to you on your birthday... :( I RLY TRULY wish I could... It would've been the best... But mum jus hates me, cuz if she didnt she would've let me go ! Cuz she must get how much you mean to me ... I dunno why I cant ! Im almost 18 years old, OMG ! N she've spoken to you.. God jus hates me, thats why.... He wanna torture me n he doesnt let me feel happiness... It's sick that you're 1,5year younger thn me ^o) That feels wierd ^^ Tho I can believe you are, you doesnt feel 15 to me, lols... I havnt thought bout that since now whn I had to think what you turn n yeah.. you turn 16 g.d ;D Well, age doesnt count in that small numers... I dont care <3
Hunny, I never get tired of you.. I dunno why you've started to doubt my love for you ;S you always get cranky whn I dont answere your txts or if our phonecall breaks.. thn you automatic think that I hung up cuz I didnt wanna talk.. Why the fuck would I hang up ?! N I tell you be4 I hang up.. ;K haha. Seriously, we might have to cut down on our messin round thing.. cuz soon we're gon get mad at eachother, haha. But it's fun tryin to make you cranky ^^ haha I cant help it.. but you're so much better thn me on that -.- N I always get cranky at you... But I cant stay cranky at you, you're to cute <3


Här i kungsträdgården finns det pojkar som gör mig så glad
Du är det sexigaste jag har sett på många, många dar
Jag tycker om dig, hoppas du tycker om mig
Och kanske du vill sova över hos mig

Lilla hjärtat, jag tänder så på dig, jag vill så gärna ha sex med dig
Lilla hjärtat, jag tänder så på dig, jag vill så gärna ha sex med dig

Känner mig så osäker när jag är i ditt sällskap
Vad säger man till en person som dig, som på alla sätt är bra
Jag tycker om dig, hoppas du tycker om mig
Och kanske du vill sova över hos mig

Lilla hjärtat, jag tänder så på dig, jag vill så gärna ha sex med dig
Lilla hjärtat, jag tänder så på dig, jag vill så gärna ha sex med dig

I SOO love that song ;D I've fallen in love with it, end of story ^^ <333

Well.. had a blast yesterday with Nils ;D He went away for sum chick whom he didnt wanna meet but she called n bugged him so he went away ;D But thn he came bk, haha. It was rly fun... he went upstairs n went through my closet.... n he went round wearin my sweaters... rly nice XD haha N so he sat in my lap like, a very long time... haha. But at like 1 mum said I'd to go from the comp, so he went to ma bro's room n I went to bed, talkin to Joakim at the phone XD Thn David called me at like 2, but I didnt wanna answere, I jus shut ma phone off (A) xD haha AAANGEEEL <33 Now I've been talkin to Joakim at the phone so mum's startin to get cranky ^^ Well I cant help it that I love his voice (A)
Anyways, I was with Valentina yesterday <3 It was rly great, it was a RLY long time since we hung out <3 We'd like LOADS to talk bout ! XD haha omg, dont think we ever shut up :P Me <3 Girltalk ;
2daz has been a boring day.... :/ Only gd thing I've done is talkin to Joakim on the phone ;D haha. While he was cleanin his room.. seriously, havnt heared any1 who cleans more fun thn he does XD haha I laughed all the time... <3
Well Im off now, Joakim called again ;D byebyes <3                                                   Colt <3
Love you all, fucks to Marc ;) Rawr <3

Solitude * Vacancy <3

Home Sweet Home <3

Okey... I hate this blog, it sucks arse ! Stupid thing I havnt been able to logg on to it for days ! It've driven me nuts !! N so I've rewritten the blogg THREE times now ! Since there've always been sumthin wrong n so EVERYTHIN has disappeared ! OMG ! I'll stop write this stupid blogg -.- I'll jus go mad ... Grr... Anyways Im home ! Tho I got bk home at Thuseday but havnt been able to write until now.. Since I wrote n it disappeared so I got mad n I ignored it *bitchy face* But anyways, I'll try n write one now n if it disappeared... I'll nevre write again ! I pormise ! stupid fuck...
Well I've been with Sis n Manda, Tony, Danne, Nystedt n Andreas n Pernilla n Anna n Valentina n yeah.. I've been rly busy since I got bk home :D AND I LOVE IT !! Im not used to beein this populaire... hahah

Well Im not writin anymore now :D Im with Nils n we're pissin outself from laughter XD hahaha I dont think I've had this much fun in a LOOONG time XD hahahah omg !!

Well I love you all <33 fucks to you Marc ;)


Aldrig ska jag ljuga för dig
Aldrig ska jag få dig att gråta
Världen är tillräckligt hård
Jag kommer alltid att förlåta

Du är det bästa jag har
Vad skulle jag göra utan dig
Jag vill alltid ha dig kvar
Stanna föralltid här hos mig

Finns ingen chans i världen
Att jag någonsin lämnar dig
För varför skulle jag ge upp
Det bästa som någonsin kommer hända mig <3


Solitude * Vacancy <3

Mongolien BBQ <3

Okey, another day :D The Bertilssons has alrdy LEFT THE CAMPING !!! WOHAHAHAH <3 It might be a god.. *cough* Anyways.. 2daz we're goin into Sthlm Center again !! N we're goin to eat at the mongolien BBQ !! <333 You cant imagine how Fuckin Unbelievable GOOD the food is there!! OMG :D It's soo great, Im gon fast all day so I can eat for hours (n get even fater thn I alrdy am..) ! It will be great ^^ N the best thing is, that thn we're goin into town sooooooo !! PUNK SHOP FTW ;DD Thn I can go to the shop I wanted to go to yesterday !! :D I said to mum I could walk to it by myself, cuz I rly wanna go there b4 we leave <3 I so love that shop :) It's the best ! Thn I can buy my suspenders !! :D Wihooo :) It's sooo cool, n I can see if they've got home sum more of those badges :) I LOVE those too :D Im gon put sum on my new shoes :) It'll be great ;D I wonder how many times I've had said "It'll be great" in this blog.. ^o) Dont care to look.. haha.


Look how cool !! Serioulsy Im IN LOVE with the frogs :) They're the cutest ever, I'll get one of those ;D

(not all of them cuz Im wearin sum n I didnt care to go look for everything ;D)
1.  2.  3.
4.  5.  6.

1. My badges !! The best ever, tho I have one more I think on the shoulder ribbon, it's a skull ;D
2. My sneakers :) The coolest ever, they're sooo compy too <2
3. MY other sneakers :D They're so cool, n I'll buy a badge to put on both of them so they'll get ever cooler <3
4. Sum jewelleries I' ve bought :) Not all of them tho, couldnt care to find them all ^^
5. (tilt your head to the right) My vest :D
6. Me ;D In my new biatchy glasses ;D <33

You ASS !! Seriously you said, you promised, you would call me yesterday n you DIDNT ! I didnt even hear from you at all, well aye, you sent me a txt like at 12 that said "wohoo, my internet is working:D" or sumthin... ! Well gee thx babe ! You said you would buy this card n call me up ! You shouldnt say sumthin you dont think you can keep ! I hadnt cared if you hadnt said you would call me... If you'd jus say that I'll hear from you.. I hadnt mind. It's jus that you SAID you'd call that makes me furious! You have to stop sayin things that you're not sure you can keep.. But aye, you can do whatever you like.. it's your life so if you dont want me in it, keep up the gd work lyin to me !

Well Im off from the blog now ;D It's sun outside n warm so I cant sit here all day ;D
Love you all <33 Write later whn I have time :)

Solitude * Vacanacy <3

Homesick ?

Okey, I think Im rly startin to get homesick now... I rly feel like Im missin it all, sumthin is missin !!! Im startin to feel outside, not at home.. it jus feels wierd.. N my body constantly hurts... Cant go an entire day without that sumthin hurts ! My legs're all walked out n my knee is all fucked up n I think it's broken ;S Well anyways.. I had the WORST day every 2daz, it sucked sooo much ! It's like everythin we do, we do it Bertilsson's way ! They're whimperin n whimperin n I cant STAND any more ! One wanna go home n antoher wanna go to Gröna Lund n one dont wanna eat there n another dont wanna do anythin at all, bla bla bla ! OMG !! I wanted a sweater n sum suspenders n mebe sum of those buttons with like txts on n shit.. N there's ONE shop in the ENTIRE stockholm that I wanted to go to, but noooo we couldnt go there cuz whn we'd gone to sum shops THEY wanted to go to, they were all exhausted n wanted to GO HOME !! FUCKIN ASS SHIT GAY STUPID FAMILY !!! I WANNA KILL THEM !! AAH !! I jus wanted to go to that shop n buy these things n I'd been pleased ! I'd been walkin all day with this SMILE on my face !! But NO! WHY LET MARLENE BE HAPPY FOR ONCE?!?! I've done everythin, EVERY FUCKIN THING that they'va wanted to do, EVERYTHIN !! With NO complain ! Cant they let me do this ONE thing ?! I jus wanna SCREAM !! GAAAAHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *breathe, breathe*
Anyways, it was pretty cool, I was at the Aquaria :D DAMNIT IT WAS COOL !!! With all these cool, colored fishes :D It was AWESOME ! I'll put sum pics up 2moz since I dont care to look up the cable to the phone atm ^^ haha But you'll see it <3

Well I should get goin now :) Im DEAD TIRED, I'll prolly fall asleep in the chair soon if I dont go to bed :D
I'll put up sum pics at the things I've bought too !! It's so cool :D You jus HAVE to see the shorts I've bought, seriously, drop-dead gorgeous XD hahaha
Well anyways, I love you all, especially my sis <3 Miss you like crazy <3

Solitude * Vacanacy <3

Takes ma life in Slo-mo <3

Im a slow person ;D I take everythin in ma own speed, whish is like the slowest EVER, but it's not MA fault. I hate to stress, it's so stressy XD haha I dont wanna rush ma life n miss everythin like :) I take it ma own speed, DEAL WITH IT ! ;)

Im sry I didnt write a blogg yesterday night, but I didnt have time at all ! I came home pretty late n so we ate n I were with Emma n Anna n we went round n I looked at ma darn HOT neighbour ! ;D haha he's emo <3 I LOVE emo guys, they're sooo hot ;D haha I saw like a hundred emo guys yesterday in Stockholm center ! I saw one whom I could've jus ran up to n ask him to marry me XD Seriously... he was that hot... ! Anyways, I have another hot neighbour too XD haha But he's like the pure opposite ! He kinda looks like Ola Svensson, hahah ! But he's darn hot :) Mebe cuz Ola Svensson is hot, but anyways... this guy is hotter ^o) haha okey, have to stop talk bout guys ;D
Well 2daz we're goin tinto town again ! n we'll prolly go to GrönaLund again ! <3 n I'll ride the rollercoaster like a hundred times ! N so we might go to this underground aquaruim ! it's suuuper cool ;D

Joakim called yesterday, he said he wouldnt but he did anyways ;D haha well aye, he said he would go n buy the same phone card as I have 2daz so he could call me cheap. SO he promised he would call me 2daz :) So I sure he do bcs orelse he've lied to me n thn I'll get furious ! Anyways, do as you like :) <3

Solitude * Vacancy <3

GrönaLund <3

Well aye, So the day has passed ! O H M Y G O S C H !! Seriously !! I couldnt have had a better day !! :DD OMG, it was sooo fun ! <3 First we had to wait n wait n wait so that every1 had to get rdy for us to start goin to the city. Thn we walked for sum minutes to the subway n we took a train to "the old city". There we went on for like, quite sum time n we looked in the shops (well that's what the others did, I looked at hot guys *shocker*) n all the great allies (dunno how you write that in plural ^o)). It's rly nice accually, tho I've been there like a million of times :P And yeah we went to the castle a quick look too, tho it costs a fortune to go inside so we jus looked in the lobby :)

Here's sum pictures from the allies in The Old City (sounds rly stupid in english lols)
Haha aye, we stayed for sum meal b4 we went on n there was an old lady who went n ate the food we'd left on our plates ! DISCUSTING ! XD Thn the cheif came out n told her that she'd to leave ;D Thn she went away n started to pick up cigarette-butts XD lols, we laughed quite alot bout that... Anna couldnt believe that the old lady accually DRANK the grounds of her coke ;D

After we'd been there we went on to GrönaLund <3 Im RLY afraid of carousells, I've like ridden 4 carousells in my entire life ;D haha I HATE it ! Or I hatED it... haha. We (the kids, includin me, my bro, Anna, Emma n Anton) got tickets n money n got sent away to "have fun".. the grownups took a beer, or wine, n took a seat at a pub n drank ! We littluns went on n searched for things to do.. So we ended up ridin this "Blue train", lmao ! Stupid thingy, it went RLY slow n so it wasnt even that dark so you could see all the "spooky" things on the walls that was gon pop out (is was gon be like a scary tunnel so..) it was rly like, yeah I dunno.. bad :P Well aye, afterwards we went on n no1 wanted to ride anythin since, I dunno... no1 said anythin ;D Thn Emma n my bro desided to go n ride this The Voice carouselle. It went round on the spot n around the whole thingy, omg. N so the rest of us we jus stood, n walked round waitin for them to get finished .. :P We didnt find any carousells to ride, lols. N whn they finished, they loooved it, we went on n was gon ride the biggest, blue :P, rollercoaster ! But I R E F U S E D ! ;D Thn we desided to go to the Funnyhouse :D  I L O V E the Funnyhouse ! it's sooo (shocker!!) funny ! ;D lmao. I love the part best whn you walk on kinda a bridge n the walls spinn round you n it looks like the universe, n it feels like you're goin round ! It's THE coolest <33
After that we went bk to the grownups to look how they had it. N we sat down n took a breath. After 10min of talkin me into ridin the rollercoaster we walked to it ;D But I hesitated whn we got there n refused to go ;D After another 10mins outside it we got EVERY1 (except from dad n Richard since there where off sumwhere else) to ride along with us ;D So they, half, draged me into it n I were off... Think I told every1 I was gon die like a million times, haha. What, i seriously THOUGHT I would die, hahah. Well..... I'll thank them all my life for makin me cuz DAMN it was the must fun thing ever !! I went on n we rode the new rollercoaster jus me, Emma n Anna and DAMN that was shitloads of fun as well !! :D But thn I got out of tickets :'( Darn, but mum n Annika said we was goin bk 2moz n thn we would get RIDERIBBON ! It's this ribbon you buy n thn you can ride EVERY attraction for free :D IMBA ! Im gon ride the third rollercoaster n I promised Emma to ride the Looooovetunnel with her ;) hahahah It's prolly fun ;D
After that we went out the park n took the ferry over to "land" n took the subway to the center of the town where we went to Pizza Hut <3 There we had to stand n wait (imagine you that after an entire day of walkin n runnin round) for like 15min to get a seat ! Well whn we'd got our seats I ordered a pizza with chicken n extra cheese ;) YUMMIE !! They have like the best pizza EVER there ! Tho it takes time to get it.... Whn we were finished we went on n we littluns played "you're in" (or what you say in english..) on the way to the subway (A) Took the subway to Bredäng n now Im lyin here in my bed exhausted ! ;D

And yeah I went into the Spookyhouse too ;D It was DARN neat lols !! I seriously got scared, omg. There was one guy who made me scream, Frankenstein ! (Or Einstein as I said the first time ;D I got myself confused, didnt think of what I said, lols.) The girls behind me screamed so I was gon turn round to see what it was n he stood infront of me, AH ! haha orsele it was darn funny walkin there with every1 all scared up ;D laughed my ass off ! <3

It was a RLY great day n 2moz we're goin to the city to do sum (MORE *sigh*) shoppin ! I so hate shoppin even more now thn b4... Seriously, cant girls have enough of shoppin ?! It drives me nuts! Lucky me that Im not lesbien, damn, wouldnt manage a girl... haha. Yeah, thinkin of lesbien, I saw a "celebrity" in the sub :) Cici from swedish Idol :) Pretty cool :) N yeah I saw a transvestite on Pizza Hut, YEW !! Seriously, so discustin... why cant guys stay guys ?! It looked soo.. yew ! He'd done like all the surgeries n shit.. yew.. seriously, it jus looks.. sick.. haha (A) Erhm.. jus for the record (A) Had to tell you, dunno why, jus had to XD

Now like, my entire body HURTS ! N seriously, I have to look up my knee.. I think there's sumthin seriously wrong with it... Might have broken it... It hurts n I can only bend it like, not as I can bend the other one XD Well anyways... Im startin to get RLY tired n I bet I have to get up early cuz I rly have to shower b4 we go to town... Wohahah and yeah, there's like a TON of hot guys here !! OMG ! Not wierd that it's hotter here thn where I live with all these guys steamin there way through town <333

Okey, better end it here... Nic's alrdy gon kill me for this blog since it's like a mile long (A) Still cant help it babes, love you loads tho.. Miss you like crazy <33
Love you all, I sooo miss Lse so darn much.. Hope Im goin home soon. Dunno if I can take it so much longer... N I rly miss you, since I havnt seen you since the school finished. Well aye, fucks to you Marc-who's-never-online, bastard ;) <3

Solitude * Vacanacy <3

Stockholm, Bredängs camping.

"Well aye, Im Stockholm now thn :D Jus had my dinner so Im full n I'll not eat until.. nxt time I'll eat ;D Whenever that is.. Well oks, I've been down to the beach n checkin out guys............... WHAT GUYS ?! OMG ! We're at this BIG campin with like.. 35 trailers n NO HOT GUYS ?! Where's the world goin ?! Well aye, not here ! We always pick the campins without the hot guys... Im startin to believe that my parents look for these campins...
- Hello n welcome to *hmm hmm hmm* camping, what can I help you with?
- Well hello, I have sum wonders bout your campin..
- Well I'll try n help thn !
- First of all, do you have any hot guys here ?
- Well yeah out selection of guys is Pretty big accually ! :D
Stupid fucks.. I bet they do like that -.- Jus to make sure I'll never find a guy ^^ haha. My luck :P"

Wrote that yesterday... Didnt have that much free time since I were everywhere with Anna n Emma n like.. fooled ourself n had shitloads of fun ;D So I totally forgot the blog for the day ;OO Well anyways, that's all I managed to come up with the little time I took to write sumthin... haha :)

Anyways, a new day ! A.. not that wonderful day tho.. it's clouds everywhere n tho sun's not .. well visible :P Bye it's RLY warm so I dont complain :) Hopefully we'll go to the town 2daz n do sumthin more valuable, haha. Think we're goin to Grönalund, an amusement park, this evenin like.. late :) It'll be great ! Im goin to ride the Ferris wheel :D Wihoo, that's like the only thing I dare to ride ^o) Im a chicken whn it comes to carousells (A) Well... I prefer the lotterybooths :D Im gd at playin away loads of money (A) Or like, drivin the car games in the gamehouses !! <33 Well aye, we'll see how we do ;)

lols, it's pretty fun, since whn you're goin to the toilet you have to press this code to enter the bathrooms n the code is 1106 :P So we've started to use that as a code for goin to the bathroom ^^ Like whn sum1s goin they say, Oh I think I have to 1106 :) N thn every1's like, Ooh is it time for 1106? ;) Pretty silly tho but ^^

Is it better to be with a guy you dont rly love as in "wanna be with" love, thn to be alone? Since the guy you RLY love, doesnt want you or love you back. Cuz you do like this other guy n he cares for you n love you n yeah, you RLY like this guy but... well he just isnt the other guy. He has that special thing n well, seein him with another girl would drive you mad. But what is better, to be alone n watsh this guy find a girl n jus hate the world... Or to try an relationship with this other guy jus so you'll forget the guy you truly love? This guy doesnt want you, there's nothing you can do so you should try n go on with your life as he does with his. He doesnt care bout you n you're startin to mean nothing at ALL to this guy so why should you stay? The other guy loves you n he would prolly do like anythin for you, what makes you hesitate? What makes you hesitate the obviously ? What does this guy have that makes you wanna stay n never give up the fight? He do you no gd n yet you dont wanna give it up. Sumtimes I wonder if I've ever had any sence at all... Have I ever made a gd decision? And will I ever be able to get rid of ancient feelings or will I forever live as I always have...?

Solitude * Vacancy <3

Stockholm tomorrow then.

Well aye thn.. We'll be off to Stockholm 2moz :D Hope it'll get much more fun thn I've had it the last couple of days here in Rönnby XD Well the worst part is that I'll not be online as often as I've been the last days.. But hey, thn you can have sum time to miss me (A) haha AAAANGEL <3 Well anyways, now the Bertilssons are here.. haha, erhm.. NO comments XD haha Im bored.. I dunno, I jus dont have ANYTHIN to do here at all.. Well aye, I've been out 2daz playin football :D It was DARN fun until I kicked my bro on his leg n so I REsprained my ankle again -.- STUPID ANKLE !! It'll never heal.. darn foot.. Well aye, I think I've sum virus or sumthin.. I dunno .. My arm jus started to hurt yesterday, darn much ! n it moved up to my elbow n so to my shoulder... it hurt so much I couldnt sleep on my left side.. ;S Wierd shit.. Anyways.. n yeah, I think I've done sumthin with my left knee cuz it hurts too... Think I streched my knee on the Ö-vik camping whn I was bikin... Well aye, Im a week person LOLS XD

You can get an daily upgrate of photos ;D

Well aye, this is pretty much what I've done ;D
I ate at Max, mmmm.. it was so gd :) saw a rly discustin dude.. He had pretty long hair, a hairribbon in his hair.. n he was pierced in one ear.. n he jus looked.. gay XD hahahah awkward dude.. anyways.. thn we drove home n on the way I saw this sign "Laggar". Haha. Darn funny place to live at.. Bet it laggs alot there... Ö: lmao.. Anyways.. thn I got home, took sum stupid photos at myself as usual.. haha, n so I went inside n ate icecream n strawberries <3 Thn I tried n shoot with that gun on the pick :D It was shit loads of fun !! <33

Well now I better go out n be a little bit social with the "ppl" ;D haha. See you all 2moz mebe, if I'll not have to much to do in Sthlm.. :) Well love y'all n fucks to Marc ;D <333

Solitude * Vacancy <3

Fort ruins.

We went to sum cool fort ruins on sum moutain in the neighbourhood. It was rly cool n so there were LOADS of stones n there was trees everywhere n high grass n sum raspberries n wild strawberries :D *yummie* N so you could see the house we live in from over there n we found this rly old tree (who I took a pic of so Im gon put it up here) n every1 started to throw stones at it, tryin to break the biggest branch :D It was fun, tho it was like Smooookin hot so I went n like took clothes of all the time ;D Tho it was a quick visit but fun, havnt done so much the rest of the day lols... There's not that much to do here so... Longing for 2moz whn we'll prolly get our arses to Sthlm :)

Well aye, I'll prolly get away from the comp b4 mum'll get more fucked up on me thn she only have.. Stupid bitch. She gets cranky jus bcs I sit by the comp... N thn my bro comes with this FUCKED UP stupid idea, Mum you know what I think ?... 2moz we'll put away the comp so that NO1 can sit ... WTF ?!?! ARE YOU TOTALLY ÌNSANE !? motherfucker ! Jus bcs you dont have anythin to do by the comp ! Jus bcs you dont have any friends who missed you n wanna chat with you n so on... STUPID FUCK ! I sooo wanna kill that fucker !!

Well Im off now.... Now dad n his bro's startin to sing XD hahahah that NEVER happens, lols !! hahah
Well okey, im off now... I love you forever n ever stupid fucks XD Miss you all like CRAZY n I sOOOO wanna go home <333

Solitude * Vacancy <3

New day. New thoughts.

Gon start this blog with puttin up sum pics that my cousin took with my phone lols ;D
 Not very givin photos but hey, he's only 4 years old XD haha

Among the pics it's my bro, he's pants, my mum, Henriks foot, my leg, Henrik's father n my father.. n yeah sum cryons (? sumthin tells me it's called that.. dunno why..) n a keyhole n a window n a chair n the computer n the lawn n yeah.. loads of shit XD

Well aye, in a much better mood 2daz I must say ;D haha well sumtimes it jus requires sum sleep whn Im down :P It's jus the day thats bad, I jus need to sleep in away ;D
Anyways, now Henrik's gon go out n drive his quad, hahah. Fuckin genius, haha. He's so cool omg... Except from whn he sits in my lap n pick his nose... erhm.. anyways, kids ;D

2daz it's NiceNice weather n the sun's shinin n it's this nice cold breeze singin once in a while, rly lovely :) Hopefully we'll do sumthin else 2daz thn jus sit in the sun.. orelse I'll get rly bored.. I'll us sit here all day n dad'll get furious n shit.. But what, I've been lyin in the sun a while.. it's to hot. N I have no friends here, since every1's over 30 or under 4... so wtf am I suppose to do?! I can sit n make phonecalls all day, but gee, how fun would that be whn I've sad everythin to every1 n Im broke... -.-
I'll sit here n eat chips n get fater... omg, im pathetic XD well anyways.. nvm, I'll jus live my pathetic life as it is n die whnever I feel like it, haha. (A)

Well now I've nothin to write bout.. there's like NO1 online on msn so I have nothin to do n Im s FUCKIN bored there's no word for it.. Well aye, now my bro, Henrik n his dad :) Hopefully sumthin more fun'll happened :P Prolly not but hey, wishin is free XD

Well aye, Im off from the comp for nows :D See you laters :) 
Txt me Sis so I know that you're alive ;D Love you all <333 N fucks to you Marc cuz your never online stupid ! :P

Solitude * Vacancy <3

Manage the aroundworld.

Cant take the world anymore. Every1 (except from ma sis) seems to hate me, or think more or less shit of me. I cant take livin in this world anymore, why cant it all be gd. I seriously can get why you doesnt like me. I wouldnt like myself. I whimper to much, I complain bout life and who the FUCK want a girlfriend who doesnt evern like herself. I dont have courage, I dont have confidence and I dont have faith. Im missin all these things that guys puts value on whn they look for a girl. I miss all the great things here in life that matters, I got all these things that might be gd to have in certain times but doesnt mean a shit in the big whole.... I wanna stop the complainin, I wanna stop the whimperin, but I cant. I see all these STUPID things in life to complain bout. These things that doesnt rly matter at all, these things that you dont care bout. Love me. I wanna feel sum1 wishin for me, I wanna feel wanted. Want me! I wanna hear sum1 cry out my name, I want sum1 to see me as everything, I wanna be sum1's day n night, sun  n moon. I wanna be your star.

Now our love's floating out the window
Our love's floating out the back door
Our love's floating up in the sky, in heaven
Where it began, back in God's hands

Everything's shit, and I bet it cant get any worse. It cant get darker at night, n the air cant get much harder to breath. I cant think that life's more useless to live and I cant believe in less then I do.

Solitude * Vacancy <3

I will just stop thinking about love.

I hate love, it sucks sooo much. I can never make up my mind bout what I feel or what I think bout anythin. . . But I've jus laid n thought bout it all n I came up with sumthin. . . (from my oppinion bout GUYS.)

Whn you love love sum1 you cant stop think bout him n you jus wanna be with him n everythin he does makes you glad, n everytime you see him, he makes you in a gd mood whatever have happened to yah in the past. Whn you're with sum other guys or see a hot guy sumwhere you jus think bout this guy.N this is the guy whom you compare with other guys whn you see them, you think like, oh no that guy doesnt have his smile, that guy doesnt have his eyes, that guy doesnt shine like he do n so on.... N you cant STAND seein, knowin that he's with another girl thn you. N the smallest thought bout him havin a girlfriend who's not you, it drives you CRAZY! You jus feel that whatever this guy does, you can forgive him. Everybody have their own faults n you're willin to forgive this guy for his faults cuz you know that it's better thn livin your life without him.
Love sum1 as a friend. Whn you love sum1 as a friend you jus feel that this person you can share everythin with n that he makes you glad n you jus trust this guy all out ! You can do friendly things n you can joke bout eachother n jus have fun n no1 takes it fully out. Whn sumthin happens, this is the first person you think bout n you want him to know everythin bout him bcs you feel that keepin sumthin from him feels wrong. You dont care if he'll meet a another girl n fall inlove bcs you know that he'll stay with you n still share everythin with you bcs you're so gd friends. He's not the person you think bout whn you're hangin with guys n you feel that he jus wants the best for you. You care bout this guy n you love him but not quite as much that you wanna be with him... But you might think that from time to time since this is the guy that rly care for you n wth, he knows everythin bout you n you can talk bout everythin... But you dont rly know...

What Im tryin to get to is that. . . I dont think I love LOVE Joakim. .  I think he fits better in the friend love profile. . Since he's not the first guy I think bout whn I see a hot guy n I dont care if he finds another girl only that he's happy... There's another guy that fits that profile perfectly, every word n every letter.... I've tried to deny it ever since you turned me down, but who'm I foolin? I jus.... I cant stop thinkin bout it. It drivs me mad, free me !

Solitude * Vacancy <3


Allright thn :D Im in Rönnby atm, doin. . nothing. . Well I jus got off the phone with Joakim <3 OMG, I've missed sittin by the comp ! ;D HAHA *ADDICT* Tho there's like NO1 only now whn I am.  . :'( Hopefully sum1 gets online soon. . :) Well aye, prolly be online pretty much, tho I promised I'd call Joakim later on 2 :) <33

Okey :) Were in Sundsvall yesterday :) O H M Y G O D !! There was like a HUNDRED of gd lookin guys there. . I almost died ! They were everywhere ! On the campin, in the city. . everywhere.
N yeah, I had the most drop-dead GORGEOUS guy as a neighbour whn we camped in Ö-vik ;D Didnt have that much time thn so I forgot everything I was suppose to write bout like, you know, drop-dead gorgeous guys n other IMPORTENT shit Ö: hahaha Well aye, I've seen ALOT of smokin hot guys, omg. . I so have to move more south whn I finish school, haha. Well that might not be a so gd idea after all, I'll prolly die from like, overheat bcs of all the hot guys ;D hahaha If yah can do that, lols. Well anyways it was rly fun n so :) Too bad tho I didnt have time to go n see Rasmus :( It would've been fun to see yah, but hey, I cant do everything at the same time :/ N it was an family vacation so I wasnt suppose to see yah after all, but it'd been fun :)
It wasnt that gd weather in Ö-vik whn we was there. . . it kinda jus rained n shit but got a little better from time to time :) N thn whn we drove to Sundsvall it got alot better :) We'd sun n we jus walked along in every shop n like, stared, haha. It was a shitty mal, it sucked. . Was like borin shops n things n I didnt rly feel like buyin anythin bcs I felt rly fat that day, dont rly know why I jus did. . . Well I bought a t-shirt anyways :)
Well aye, we were suppose to sleep in our trailer on the IKEA parkin in Sundsvall but dad changed the plans so we continued drivin till we got to Tönnebro n so we stayed there over the night ;) It's like an truck parkin to it was RLY noisy at night but I slept DAMN gd ;D N yeah, dads daily joke, hahaha. We store our water in sum box in the frontseat to keep it cool, n so my bro reashed his hand to the front n say, I want sum water ! N so we jus passed this bridge n dad jus, it's in the river. . . haha omg :P Stupid. But the joke is a little better in swedish since there's a card game that's called like, it's in the river, so :D haha anyways ;D

Well aye, slept well this night n so we got up early to continue our journey towards Rönnby, where Im now, n so we left our trailer there n went to Gränby n did sum more shoppin n I bought a brown sweater, darn neat it was :) haha We went round alot n so we went bk to Rönnby :) Thn whn we arrived, my cousin, Henrik, was drivin his little quad, like tiny little ;D Bcs he's like 4 years old ! N he drove this thing round like a maniac ! ;D He's like the coolest kid EVER ! XD N he jus came n parked it on the lawn n he came up to us n took of his crosshelmet n he stood there in his outfit with his blonde hair all messed up xD omg, he's so DARN cute :D N so they have a bigger quad so I'll prolly drive sum later on :D

I dunno what to say, I dunno what to think. So I've desided that I wont say anything or think so much bout you babe ;D I dont get it how you think, it jus feels like you dont rly know what you want n so on . . but hey, it's your like n yah can do whatever you want with it :) If you wanna spend your life with me, gd for both of us, I love you so ofc I wanna spend my life with you :) But if you wanna spend your life with your ex, fine with me, what makes you happy, makes me happy :) Im jus glad I got to know you babes <3 Well aye, as I said I'll call you later on so we can talk sum more :)
Jag Älskar Dig <3
Even if I see one or a hundred of hot guys, I love Joakim the most in the entire world and I wouldnt wanna share my life with anyone else but him.

Allright, what shall I write bout now... I shouldnt write anything more now, have alrdy overwritten what Nic think's a long blog enough XD haha Sry babe but I cant help it, everything jus COMEs to me whn I sit here n write ;D Well aye, who've said you HAVE to read them anyways ;) You can jus dont. . . :P No1 will kill you for that, lols. . . I love you even if you dont read them :D
Aah, I can put up sum pictuers :D Jus a sec. . .

Hahaha ;D Think I've had a little to much free time ;D
If yah wonder why I've taken a pic of MHS, it's bcs my initials' M.H n so is my dads n my bros, so we call ourself for the M.Hs ^^ *bad humor*

1. My new braclet :)
2. My favorite candy :)
3. Me and my brother ridin this FUCKSHIT fun thingy :)
4. Me eatin pommes frites <3
5. Aaaaand... me :D haha

Well aye, that's it. . . Have to go now, my dad dont like me sittin here all afternoon ;D haha So I'll jus be off for now n I'll prolly be on laters. . . or not ;D We'll jus see, haha. Well I love you all <33

Solitude * Vacancy <3

Ö-vik camping.

Aiight thn. . Im at Ö-viks camping doin. . not that much :) I've been watshin tv n like. .listen to music, been in the city, random things :) We were BBQing to dinner 2daz, mmmm it was GREAT <3 Bought a braclet in silver with tunes in silver n like diamonds :D Fake tho but hey, what ppl dont know. . . ;)
OMG, how'll I be able to write an entire blog in less thn 30mins ! It usually takes me like hours n hours ! haha well aye, have to make the best of it. . haha, it'll not be as gd as always but whatever. . . ;D
Im in lack of words n things to write. . . It's prolly bcs of the times pressure. . . hmm hmm hmmm. . . .

NIC FFS YOU MUST LOGG IN NOW !! I only have like 15min left n well aye, I'll not be able to talk to yah in sum time :P Well aye, I can txt yah but hey. .yah dont have any money on your phone so yah cant write bk. . oh gee, how fun is that on a scale !! :D

Hopefully I'll be on more later on or mebe 2moz :) I wont be able to answere all of the things I have to answere n I wont be able to write as long blog as usual n as MANy as usual ;d it sucks. . .:P I'll dieee of computer longing, if yah can do that lols ;D Well if yah cant I'll be the first one lmao ;D

Im dyin from stress. . . haha I'll die from to much blod in ma vains bcs my heart is so stressed it'll pump out to much blood n ma vains'll expolde ;D I'll invent plenty ways of dyin, sittin here ;D haha We must get internet on our portable computer so I can sit as much as I want so I dont need to stress myself to death ;D

I better get this blog finished now ! It's like5mins left, hahah . Well aye, love yah all n i'll write whn I get time :D
Fucks to yah Marc ;)

Jag Älskar Dig <3

* Vacancy <3

Off I go.

Well aye, thn Im off. . Goin away from this town :) Leavin it all, includin my sis ;( It sucks !! Why do you have to get home precisly the day I'm leavin?!? It's gods FUCKIN will... doesnt want us to be with eachother. . we're to a gd duo ;D wohahaha <3 Well anyways. . I get to meet you b4 I go ! So Im kinda pleased :) <33333 Been stressin n runnin round all day n fixin with the trailer n I'll PROLLY forget sumthin ! I KNOW it ! I always forget sumthin. .  my fuckin luck. . gah. . Well aye, I'll jus buy another one or I'll live without it. .  it's not the end of the world like, haha. Well, that depends on what I'll forget.. . The end of the world would be if I'd forget my phone... I'll be the only thin I'll keep with me 24/7 till we're leavnin ;D (like that'll be anythin out of the ordinary. . . wohaha)

I dunno what it is but it jus feels like every1's mad n in a baaad mood like ;S Í dunno why.. . Maybe bcs of the bad weather. . . I always get in a bad mood whn it's ranin, I dunno, jus see no need for happiness in the rain ;D Prolly jus need to see Nic, wohahah, it's her fault. It's bcs I havnt seen her. . . I need to meet my better half so I can get sum light in my life, startin to get all dark n quiet ;D

Jag Älskar Dig <3

When the world has gone
When the darkness falls
Dive into the falseness
of your empty halls
Inhale the greed
inhale the ache
take away your pride
and put it in a stash
Take a close look
of what everything has been
Make sure you know your path
and insure that you'll overwin <3

Solitude * Vacancy <3

Vacation time then.

Okey thn. . Bet I'll be of 2moz on this trailer trip thn :) After all this waitin it'll finally happen. Im longing :) Tho it'll be borin leavin town for a while, I'll miss it all <33 And it sucks cuz it's ALWAYS the same fuckin way !! I dont have anything to do the first couple of weeks since EVERY1's workin or goin away. .. N thn the second month my mumndad gets their holidays n so we go away.. .. n then EVERY1 of my friends gets bk from their vacation or quit their jobs. . . MY LUCK, fuckin arse. . . So I go away whn every1 gets "available"  .  .DARN LIFE ! Well aye, I've to deal with it. . Well guess Im soon old enough to go on my own vacation. .  I prolly be off nxt year on my own vacation with friends :) Would be wonderful ! Thn I have my drivers licence <3 Prolly ;D I bet I'll not manage to take it :P Since I have kinda this disorder so I have a hard time focusin in jus one thing Xp It rly bothers me ;D But hey, what can I do. . . wohahahaha, anyways :)
OMG ! I jus found out 2daz (whn I jus woke up, came out in the kitchen in my jammies n geee, there's my dad's friend sittin on a chair.. my luck) that we're gon spend an ENTIRE FUCKIN week with Annika n Rickard. . . O M G !! WTF am I s'pose to do thn?! Huh ?! they've two small girls like, what, 4,5 years YOUNGER thn me. . Oh gee, rly fun -.- NOT ! constlantly buggin me. . omg. . . They're so bitchy as well. . . oh plz. I cant take that. . . Well aye, parents. . They jus cant say no can they. . . STUPID ! Well aye, I'll jus sneak a tent n camp sumwhere else -.- Beside an HOT guys trailer mebe (A) By "accident" (A) Wohahahaha, AAAANGEL ;D Well . . we'll see how it ends up. Prolly be fun anyways. .I'll not try to let anything get in my way of an WONDERFUL vacation ! <3

MARC'S A PERV !!!! ;D Jus so every1 knows that, pmsl. So... WATSH OUT *lookin round* (So FUCKS to you!)

I couldnt manage to live my life without you babes <3 You're my everything n I'll always love you. End of storie. You're my oxygen n my entire world. You must get home n get your card so I can call you whnever babes, I alrdy miss your voice n we talked yesterday <3 You're the best person ever n you're the best thing that've ever happened to me. Dont ever leave me :) I'll love you till the end of the world, evern if you'dnt love me back <3

Strong words with strong meaning;
Jag älskar dig <3

Aye thn. . PMSL.. havnin the most STRANGE conversation with Marc now. . Dude SERIOUSLY?! ;P It's astonishin that you're a lesbien women. .  wohahaha ;D I've to stop eat candy like. . it's not gd for me, I get all wierd n shit. . Too much sugar ;S Cant help it thn *addicted* <3

LONGING FOR TOMORROW !!! <3 Hopefully I'll meet you thn sis <33 Been longing for you waaaaaaay too long now <3 You better get your arse home 2moz since dad seems astonishinly sure that we're goin 2moz ! So if you're not home by thn we'll prolly not meet for another 3 weeks !!! HOW'LL I MANAGE THAT ?! HUH ?! I'll NOT ! Well aye, you've changed card to your cell so we'll prolly be in touch more often thn :) I LOVE YOU THROUGH IT ALL BABES (L)
You're my better half. My everything. Yours forever. Till forever do us part. I love you. <3

Well I better get into bed now :) Im off for a hard day 2moz. Packin n shit. . Booooring .. *snore* Well anyways, it must be done :) Good night every1 n sweet dreams :) Love you to the bitter end my friends <3

Solitude * Vacancy <3

Well then.

I bet it's soon time to leave this messy whole n go away. . . Well aye, mebe not that messy tho, been cleanin my arse of for these nearest days so it would be clean. . . I hate cleaning. . . it sucks. . . :P
Well anyways, it'll be fun gettin away. . Thn I dont have to care bout anythin :) I can jus enjoy the hot guys all round *drewl* wohahaha Well yeah, I'm gon put an pic of our trailer in so you can see it :D


Wohooo, see this is our trailer :) <3 It's cool aiiight. . It's rainin outside so it's waterpools everywhere :D

I've finally downloaded this RLY cool techno kind asong <333 It's the best ever, I've so bad memorie that I've never remembered it all the way from the tv to the comp XD haha Tho it's the best :)

Hellogoodbye - Here (in your arms)

you are the one
the one that lies to close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love
in love with you suddenly
now theres nowhere else i could be
but here in your arms

Well aye, I've built 2gether a grill 2daz, pmsl ;D it sucked -.- The stupid grill didnt want to be built. . it hated me.. so in the end I jus left everythin to dad. . it's much better, felt like I were breakin it. . So it's better if dad breaks it ;D Not as much yellin at me thn ;D

Jag älskar dig <3

There's sumthin wrong with 2daz, I jus cant figure out what it is like.. It feels like everythin's wierd.. like, unreal in sum way... Like this isnt me n this isnt my life, n my family n my friends n my house... N I couldnt fall asleep this night either ! Fuckin shit, read the last chapters in "The Lord Of The Flies". . omg, I cried ;S It's sooo sad.. They're so FUCKIN mean !! I've the last chapter unread yet tho. . Jus didnt feel like readin anymore. N thn Oskar called me half past 1 ! -.- Stupid arse, his friend answered, "hey.... you wanna have sex?" . . stupid fuck, why ask? OFC I wanna have sex with you.. You dont even have to ask that lols.. . pmsl, no Im jus kiddin .. ;D haha Well thn I'd a chat with Oskar, was ages ago we spoke lol ;S It was cool :) He's a nice guy, tho a little to big a sex intressed for his age ;D But hey, no1's perfect ^^

lol, dad's wierd. . ;D I'm wearin this hood on me n so I went up to the kitchen n mum's like.. "You have a pretty wierd daughter you know..." n dad's like "I know... cant even get the grill 2gether, oh my. . " n thn mum got half mad at him like "You shouldnt say that ! She's been so good at it. Mebe she takes it the wrong way whn you say so !" n dad's like "Ooooh, Im sry, yeah she's 'sooooo' gd ! She deserves to move to Mongolian!" . . . . .Mongolian?! Oh gee dad thx alot.. WTF am I suppose to do that ?! Build grills ?! Fuckin shitheaded man ^^


'You are a silly little boy,' said tha Lord of the
Flies, 'just an ignorant, silly little boy.'
Simon moved his swollen tongue but said
'Don't you agree?' said the Lord of the
Flies. 'Aren't you just a silly little boy?'
Simon answered him in the same silent
'Well then,' said the Lord of the Flies,
'you'd better run off play with the others.
They think you're batty. You don't want
Ralph to think you're batty, do you? You like
Ralph a lot, don't you? And Piggy, and Jack?'
Simon's head was tilted slightly up. His
eyes could not break away and the Lord of the
Flies hung in space before him.
'What are you doing out here all alone?
Aren't you afraid of me?'
Simon shook.
'There isn't anyone to help you. Only me.
And I'm the Beast.'
Simon's mouth laboured, brought forth
audible words.
'Pig's head on a stick.
'Fancy thinking the Beast was something
you could hun and kill!' said the head. For a
moment or two the forest and all the other
dimly appreciated places echoed with the
parody of laughter. 'You knew, didn't you?
I'm part of you? Close, close, close! I'm the
reason why it's no go? Why things are what
they are?'
The laughter shivered again.
'Come now,' said the Lord of the Flies. 'Get
back to the others and we'll forget the whole
Simon's head wobbled. His eyes were half-
closed as though he were imitating the
obscene thing on the stick. He knew that one
of his times was coming on. The Lord of the
Flies was expanding like a balloon.
'This is ridiculous. You know perfectly well
you'll only meet me down there---so don't try
to escape!'
Simon's body was ached and stif. The
Lord of the Flies spoke in the voice of a
'This has gone quite far enough. My poor,
misguided child, do you think you know
better than I do?'
There was a pause.
'I'm warning you. I'm going to get waxy.
D'you see? You're not wanted. Understand?
We are going to have fun on this island.
Understand? We are going to have fun on this
island! So don't try it on, my poor misguided
boy, or else---'
Simon found he was looking into a vast
mouth. There was blackness within, a black-
ness that spread.
'---Orelse,' said the Lord of the Flies, 'we
shall do you. See? Jack and Roger and Mau-
rice and Robert and Bill and Piggy and
Ralph. Do you. See?'
Simon was inside the mouth. He fell down
and lost consciousness.

I kinda like this part :) I dunno, it's rly confusin n wierd.. N prolly sumthin I'd be able to do.. . After been livin on a island for a long time :D Lyin on a rock, talkin to an pig's head ^^ Well aye, every1 cant be all healthy can they ;D

Well I'll prolly end it here, you're alrdy SICK TIRED of me by now ;D Love yah all anyways <333
N okey okey, fucks to yah Marc, happy? ;D


Moodswings FTW

Hahaha Im sry, I cant help it. . . kinda :D It's bcs of the love. . it makes me crazy like ;D Bcs Im in a SUPER gd mood atm ;D Thank you babes for giving me a call :) You totally get me, you got that I was in a bad mood whn you txted me so you called ;O I love that bout you <3 N we had a wonderful talk n got it all out of the world :) Feels like this GIGANTE thing has been lifted from me shoulders :)
Im a girl, I jus make love more difficult thn it accually is :D it's my purpose in life, love me anyway? :$

                                                                       Hey, can't kick the habit
Yeah, I got to have it
                                                                       Yeah, I'm what they call a 
                                                                       Love addict, love addict
                                                                       Hey, can't live without it
                                                                       Yeah, g'on, shout about it
                                                                       Hey, I'm a symptomatic
                                                                       Love addict, love addict

Jag Älskar Dig <3

Solitude * Vacancy <3

Going nun!

Seriously ! Im going nun ! No one can stop me and I will not be stoped ! I can take this fucking shit anymore! Why do I have to live with all this PAIN and thinking about, what are you doing, whom are you with, what are you talking about, to you think of me. I will STOP caring about it. Im DONE, finito! Never again, It's.... over. Oh god, what am I saying. Look what you are doing to me ! I am sitting here telling you that it's OVER ! That I never wanna be with you again, have long conversations about non important this and hear your voice and share your thoughts. Why are you doing this to me?! Why dont you care about me and ME only?! Why do you have to ignore me and never return my msgs and shit! It's driving me INSANE hunny, insane! Because I can not stop thinking about you either! You are ruining my summer! I just wanna be able to relax and I do not want to think about you and your STUPID love !
I still care for you but this is just getting to much for my heart and soul to handle babe. I do not know how much of this I can take. I am going away with my family for some weeks. I do not know if I am going to tell you about that of if I am just going to leave it as it is. You might not even care. From now on, from this moment, I am not going to come to you, from now on, it is YOUR turn to come to me. . . End of storie. I am tired of beeing the one who should manage to TAKE IT ALL. I am sick of beeing the one in the middle. I am THROUGH with everything about you and everything around you. If you still love me, if you have ever loved me, then you wil come to me. And untill then, I am just going to enjoy life. Whether it will be a life with, OR, without you babe. I can live my life without you, but it will not be easy at all and it will not be the life I wanted to live. Beacuse babe, that is a life WITH you.

Okey, you are getting back to me NOW?! I am not going to play "everything is fine" with you anymore. You have ignored me for way to long now. I am not going to take this at all. I love you but . . . <3

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

                               Fergie - Big girls dont cry

Solitude <3


Allright, well . . another day :) Im tired as hell ;D Got home at like, 3 sumthin. . . Didnt want to make mum mad again, since she got mad whn I arrived at half past 4 once haha, so I ought I'd get home earlier. . I was with Andreas, walkin round n lookin for sumthin to do.. . Tho we didnt find anythin at all after like 3 hours of constant walkin.. . zZzZzZz. . . N so my foot hurts like FUCK 2daz. . . Feel like I wanna cut it if to get rid of the pain like. Why the fuck did I have to sprain my ankle at all.. Btw that was ages ago ! Wont it ever heal?!  Well. . .I havnt exactly. . been carefull (A) But I cant help I dont like to sittin still all the fuckin time. . ;D I've been jumpin this jumpin matress at Andreas house, (A), it's sooo fun ;D Well aye, so I have to deal with all the pain n sufferin ! Okey, mebe I over did that one a little bit ;D I need sum compassion :') Aiight, I'll stop this whimperin now, doesnt suite me (as well as it might suite Marc, wohahah, crybaby ^^ ).

2daz, mum n dad've started to clean the house n do all the laundry. . It's a sign that we're soon goin away.. N so mum said we're packin the trailer 2moz, so we're RLY goin thn :) Well I aint that pleased of it.. yet, since Sis isnt home yet :'( COME HOME !! I have to see you b4 I leave orelse I'll go balunee ;D Well seriously, I'll not manage the ENTIRE summer without seein you, cant you get that. . . You're my better half, I HAVE to see you once in a while. . . Orelse I'll get lost to the dark side or sumthin ;D You'll never know ;P
Anyways, come home so I can hug you for ages n so I can go away on vacation, sane ! :D
                                       Without you - Insane  ,            With you - Sane

Well thn, do I have to go away on vacation mad at you? I cant help getttin mad at you whn I dont hear from you n whn you're startin to keep things from me. .  It's not my fault, I believe in trust hunny, TRUST, how do I know I can trust you if you're not tellin me everything..  N now I havnt heard from you anything at all... Why dont you txt me n ASK me to call you. If you dont wanna waste money on your phone (I get you, I do, Im in guilt for havnin you waste all that money on me) so jus txt me n I'll call YOU. I dont care bout my money, havnt wasted as much money on you as you've on me so if anything I owe you. N so I dont give a damn, what does money mean if I love you, huh? Well anyways, I hope I'll hear from yah.. Dont feel like tellin you Im leavin since it feels like you're not gon care... Why would yah, now you've weeks n weeks to not think of me but to think bout your ex. . . Sigh, okey I have to stop thinkin like this. Over n out with you. Im leavin it to it's destiny :) I love you anyways <3

Wohahahah, okey now mum n dad came home :P Startin the daily routine of complainin bout my comp sittin, bla bla bla bla. . . :P Retards, I have to sit now bcs I'll not be sittin as much later on. . . Tho dad's a portable comp he'll bring, so I wont be TOTALLY out of your picture. .  You cant get rid of me THAT easily ;)

I've found a new favorite word tho ;D Vacancy. Seriously, dont you hear. . it jus speaks to yah, VACANCY :P I have no vacancy left in my heart, it's filled with Joakim n Nicitha <3 Cuz you two're my everything :$

Hahahaha, lmao, I helped mum hang the laundry n so she looked in my pocket n was like "what to you have here thn. . money?" n she pulled out sum money outta my pocket, n I was like, "So you wash money now ? ^^" N I took the money n hung it on the clothesline n I shouted at dad like "Dad come over here n look what mum's doin ! ;D" n he came n I said "Look, she's washin money ;O" N he jus lauged n said "Lucky thing no1 sees you thn". N mum said "It's not mine, it's you daughter's drug money she got from wanderin off last night. . ."
There's sumthin seriously wrong with my parents, byt hey, no1's perfect so I love them ;D <33

Well now mum's rly complainin, so I better get off the comp thn ;D Love y'all <33

Solitude * Vacancy <3


Well aye, last blog for 07.07.07 thn ;D

Im headin out with Ante n jus ought I'd write sumthin b4 I go ;D Since I  bet I wont write anythin whn I come bk, since I bet thats . .  late ;D hahah If mum even will let me out at this hour.. . she bet she is. . orelse. . I'll go out anyways.. wohahah ;D

Well Andreas' not patience. . . so I'd better get goin now ;D

Over n out ;D Talk to y'all 2moz I bet ;) Love y'all, n fucks to yah Marc !! ;D <33
N this blog is dedicated to yah, Sis, it's not that long, see.. I managed to write an nonmiles long blog ;D Proud?
Anyways, I love you through it all <33333

I skip the italic txt for this blog, its jus depressive ;D Since I havnt heard from yah ;D So I dont wanna write bout it ! I dont CARE ! Do whatever you want, you might not even love me anyways . . . </3 Darn, I couldnt manage ONE blog, ONE, without you in it. . You feckin cocksucker.. okey not, I love you <333

Solitude <3


It's pretty cool ;D That the date is 07.07.07. . . I know, Im easely entertained ^^ Not my fault, tho it has it's benefits :)

Okey, I've been thinkin 2daz, *shocker* haha, n I came forwards to that.. I love my family ;D Seriously, it's the best ever... They're the most fun ppl in the world n we can joke with eachother 24/7 n no1 cares ;D Like 2daz, mum's wearin this garment whish looks like you're wearin a sweater ontop of an shirt. . n dad jus makes fun of her sayin she looks like an air hostess :P N he goes round sayin, "tea? tea any1?" n jus make fun of her ;D N it's sooo darn funny, hahaha. I've jus been sittin with them playin cards n messin round with every1, haha. N dad's sittin there, thinkin he's king, photographin with his new phone, stupid :D N mum jus sits, singin on this stupid swedish song called "once upon a time there was a bird". . haha lmao, jus sum stupid techno song, pretty gd accually but nvm :P Now me n dad's jus messin round seein whom plays the loudest music ^^ Ordinary thing among this family, me n dad always completes bout that :P
Anyways, I've been burnin out sum CD's 2daz as well :D It was cool, dad'd bought sum empty CD's :) So I burned one to him n 4 for me XD fair doos ^^ Wohahaha, I won the music war with dad :D He send me an txt on my phone XD hahahahah. My family in a nutshell, they always txt me whn Im by the comp cuz they've lernt I dont hear anything whn they shout ^^

Anyways, Im off beein with Andreas soon I think.  . He wanted to be with me :) Tho he dunno what we should do yet.. lmao, didnt feel like beein with any1 if they dont know what we should do :P I hate that, beein with sum1 jus sittin doin nothing. . haha.

Wohahaha, yeah I have to do this italics (PMSL, cant still get that's the name for "kursiv" in english.) writin too :D

Okey so I should be pleased, you sent me txt msgs 2daz. .. But it feels wrong. . . You were goin away on vacation whish you'd never told me ;O You tell me EVERYTHING ! How come you havnt told me that?! But you jus sent me sum txt msgs thn yah stoped. . I wonder whn yah get bk, n what you're doin. . Bet I wont hear from yah till you get bk. . . You prolly call your ex or sumthing. . . :/ How do I know if you like me if you act all strange all the freckin time. . </3333

Im with Andreas now.. he's here. . Fuckin EEJIT XD omg. .  Im laughin my arse off, pmsl. . .

Anyways, Im over n out now :D love y'all<333



Haha I surtenly know how to switch between moods aiiight ;D Atm, Im happy as ever, as I started the day ^^ Well aye, cant be sad whn I talk to Marc can I XD Well anyways, I should've been in bed long time no see, like ;D but who cares, except from my parents but they dont count :D I love the night time, you get RLY bad humor n yah laugh at everything n life is jus PEACHY XD hahahah I could stay up forever but hey, my parents would kill me or sumthing, wouldnt want that to happen to me atm whn Im happy fpr once woulnd we ;D So I better get off ^^

It sucks hun, I had my phone in the computer IM SRY !! So I didnt reseve your txt msg until like, now :/ Well I hope I hear from yah 2moz as well . . love yah still <33

Shortest blogg ever ;D Cuz Im off to bed :D Fucks to yah Marc !!! ;D N love to yah rest, PMSL <3

Solitude <3

Why can't life be easy?

WHY CANT IT ?! Why cant it be like ridin a bike or learn how to eat with a fork, sumthing you have to learn but once you've learnt it, it'll stay in your head, beein the easiest thing in the world. . . Why cant everythin jus go ma way? In ONE diraction, one route, one way of makin everything . . .  right. Why cant it all be right. . . . I jus cant take this much pain n thinkin n thoughts runnin round in ma head, IT'S TOO MUCH ! I'll explode.. . I've gon nuclear ^o) . . .

Seriously, how can this be so trouble like. . . I havnt met you yet for cryin out load ! How can I think bout you this much ?! How can I care bout you this much ?! How can I love you . . . ? Why cant me meet n you could hold me n say that everything'll be allright n that this is all jus a bad dream n that Im the only one you love n that you wanna spend the rest of your life with me. . . Cuz I would say that to you. . . Why cant you be on your way here n jus surprise me with your wonderful presence. I want you here, I want you beside me in my bed, holdin me so that I felt safe. You make me feel safe. I dont care what you say or what you do, as long as you dont hurt me, or lie to me. Trust, that's what matters.. . I love you bcs you're so open, you never hide things from me. . . I hope, bcs what do I know? You can jus be lyin bout EVERYTHING as far as Im consern. . . You can jus make everything up, tryin to make me do things jus bcs you wanna make your ex jealous? I have NO idea of what you feel. . . You still care bout her, your ex, n what she does n whom she's with. She dumped you ! You didnt want her back ! Why do you care?! So what if it feels like she dumped you for another guy?! If you dont want her back why do you care?! Why do you care so much? It jus makes me feel more like, in the way. . . Maybe it's gods will for you to be with her all your life, thn so be it. I love you n I always will even if you dont love me. I will always be glad I met you n I'll ALWAYS wanna be your friend, knowin you, sharin our thoughts. . . I need you in my life, you're one half of my heart. . . Cant live with jus half a heart can I ?. . . You're wonderful n open like, you tell me everything, haha, I love that. You can jus be you. You're not affraid what ppl think or say, you jus do as you like.. . I rly love that bout you. .  You have what I dont. . . Selfconfidence. I need that. . I need you. I KNOW I've said that like a hundred times, haha, I can say it a hundred times more. . . n thn a hundred times more after that, cuz it'll be as true as it was the first time I said it. . .
You've told me, that you liked me more thn you like her, n that she's jus jeaous of me. . . Is that what you're aimin for? Is that you goal?! Cuz if it wasnt, why would you care if she went to another guy, why would you care if you RLY loved me?! Cuz you have me, you have me damn gd hunny. . . If you jus loved me, n nothing else. .  You would jus "be" with me n make sure I get, that Im all you want. . . You jus sit, tellin me how CUTE I am. . . N jus wantin me to tell you I love you. .  So I did, cuz I sure as hell do, you jus want to make sure I RLY mean it. For cryin out loud I hanvt been able to tell you for like a year ! I've known you for like what, 2 years? You dont think I've had TIME to think this through ?! I've had all the time in the world, thinkin this through. . . Im done thinkin, I've made my decision. . . YOU, you are my decision. .  I want you, n no one else. . . I wanna share EVERYTHING with you, gd OR bad. . . hard or easy. . I jus need to know what YOU rly feel. . I know what I feel. . . You know, kinda, how I feel. . I've told you I love you god damnit, doesnt that mean ANTYHING to you?!
I have a hard time believin you rly love me, like "I-wanna-spend-my-life-with-you"-i-love-you kinda way. Cuz if you did. . . You wouldnt keep it from the world, sayin that whn ppl say they believe Im inlove with you, you jus say, "Yeah so, what if she is? i dont care, she can if she wants to. It jus flatters me." . . . If you'd rly loved me. . . you'd say, "Yeah she might, n I HOPE she doest, bcs you know what. . . Im inlove with her too, what you gon do bout it?"
I dont wanna think anymore, I dont wanna breathe n I dont wanna love you. . . I dont wanna be your poppet n I dont wanna be hurt by any1 ever again. . . My heart cant take more defeat, it's to fragile like. . .

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.
                                     Craig David - Unbelievable

I love you Percy, Idol !!! ;D You're the best in the world. . . I've missed you LOADS while you've been at your camp :) You always make me smile n laugh :D You rock ma world babe. Hope you'll never leave me life ;D Cuz you'll take a big part of my joy n laughter :) You are my sunshine in the dark <3
Serious babe, you made me laugh shitloads 2night XD Keep up the gd work, I surely need it ^^ LOVE YOU <3

Well this is it for 2night I think :) Im all happy now thanks to Percy XD (L) So I'll better stop this blog now ;D leavin you ANY time for sumthing else thn readin my blog all your life... cuz it got RLY long ;D sry:$ Well I love you all my friends :)


What should I do?

What should I do bout you ?! You jus drive me mad n crazy n all that shit. But I CARE for you ! I cant help it, cant help I wanna help you ! But thn you have to LET me help you ! You cant jus sit there thinkin your unpleasent thoughts all the freakin time ! You must let them go once in a while ! I know the feelin of loneliness n jus wantin to die n all that shit. It's jus to keep up the gd work n not hink bout it that much. But you're not even TRYIN ! it's not that easy to help sum1 who doesnt seems to want help. . i wanna help you, I rly want to. .  I want you to get happy n think bout happy things n not sit there beein depressed. . It hurts me, it hurts me that sum1 I care that much for s unhappy. . . Plz try to be happy, plz try to get rid of those thoughts, for my sake? Plz, it would mean the world to me jus to know that you're happy for a while, for a moment. . love to hear you laugh, it's the best. So plz ! Do it more often, jus for me?. . . .

I'm off from the comp now anyways. . Been sittin here all day n I feel the unpleasent feelin of that this is not healthy XD haha n Im startin to have nothing to do here n it wouldnt be that gd if mum came home n I'm sittin here, since she said that I couldnt sit here 2daz (A) Well aye, Im not an angel, so I can do bad things (A) woahahaha. .

I wanna go down to Gothenburg, RL bad ! Im hatin this. . . I sumtimes feel I wanna know what you do. .  I kinda never know what you do, I get to know it later on whn you tell it to me. N that's not even sure you tell the truth, or all of it. .  I wanna be with you, I wanna experience everything with you. I want you (L) I ave to see you this year, seriously I cant make it so much further without you. . Plz come to me <3 I've alrdy desided that Im goin to you at my 18th birthday or sumtime after. Bcs thn mum cant deside what I should do, n you're the only thing I wish for atm, I love you <3

Seriously ?! Why do I miss you ?!?!?! I have no right to miss you :P You've only caused my life pain n sufferin, so why do I miss that? why do I miss your. . beautiful smile. . . your wonderful alughter n jokes... Omg, I so haveto get you outta my mind ! This is not healthy ! I DONT like you ! I dont ! ;k . . . . . oh god, who'm I foolin, you'll always be in my heart. . . I wish you'd seen that b4. . . well, this must come to an end. Im not allwed to think bout you ANYMORE ! this is it. The End.

I'll see if I'll be on later :) Dunno what mum thinks bout that ;D But we'll see. I love y'all <3

Solitude <3


Another day ! Luckely mum hadnt unplugged the internet cable, so Im all in 2daz too ;D *JOY*

The night was awful ! I couldnt sleep ! It sucked, omg. . . I read first for like sum hours, thn I tried to sleep but I couldnt. . . It was too hot, it was too cold, it was too bright n everything was jus wrong ! I couldnt stop thinkin bout yah either, I dunno why. .  It felt like I jus wanted to run down to yah n tell you "I love you" like a million times. . . It felt wierd, so at 00.00 I desided to write it to yah in a txt msg, so I did :) Havnt got an answere yet tho, why wont you return my txt msgs? I wrote yah two yesterday n you didnt answere those either. Is it sumthing wrong with your phone ? Sure as hell hopes so, it'll kill me if you're jus ignorin my msgs. But okey, you called me yesterday so I shouldnt be mad at you, I cant be mad at you. . You mean to much to me :) Anyways, I have no idea whn I at last fell asleep, but it felt like the time was like.. 3, 4 or sumthing. . . stupid "not be able to sleep" feelin. . I hate whn it happens. .  grr, n I couldnt continue readin the book cuz it was too scary ;D hahaha Cant help it, it got rly warm whn I read it the first time since I had to use all my pillows n quilts that I had in the bed ;D But hey, it's a gd book :) "Lord of the flies", horrible movie, omg. . So I had to read the book, it's accually in english too :) I was at the library sum days ago n lended sum english books for entertainment this summer :) So I kinda walk round thinkin in english ;D haha Well I dont mind :P hahah btw, another thing, it was rly funny whn I woke up :P I think I'd dreamt that I'd woke up, turned on the phone n looked at the clock who'd been 02.42 n thn fallen alseep again. . So whn I woke up  I started to look after my phone since I thought it'd happened irl but I couldnt find it, thn I looked where I put it b4 I got to bed n there it was, off ;D that was scary, since it felt sooo rl whn I'd dreamt it ;D Well aye, wierd things happens ^^

You dont believe that the fuckin power would go off whn I go seated by the comp -.- FUCKIN SHIT ! I'd got seated n logged in everywhere n so I went to get my phone on the bed n the whole fuckin house turn black -.- I almost smashed the phone in the wall. . . omg, it was the worst 15mins of my entire life, I bet yah ! I'd nothin to do. . . I jus prayed that the battery on my phone would hold until the power'd got back ;D haha God im sad. . . Seriously I have no life :D
Well anyways, Im starvin now. .  better get sumthing to eat b4 I'll die... Well, like there'll be sum lost for the world ^^ wohahaha, sry had to say it (A) Okey, now I'll go get sumthing to eat. I play you a song while Im gone, enjoy. . .

if i held my ground would you ask me to change
this drought bleeds on now were dancing for rain
we drink the air but its still not the same
these worlds colide but the distance remains
we point the finger, never accept the blame and i know.. i know

you've let me try but i'm still breathing
i swear i'm sucking dry the sky
and you wont ever find us kneeling
or swollowing your lies

                                                            Rise Against - Dancing For Rain <3

So okey, gd song aye? ;D I love it, you can think whatever :P Well I've got a bowl with yoghurt n raspberries ! NEAT <3 It's sooo gd, yah cant imagine :)
It still bothers me that I cant use the left, center, right thingy on ma blogs -.-' I rly would like to have that, it's workin ma nervs rly. . . Well that's sumthing I have to deal with, among many other things here in life. .

I wonder what I'll be doin 2daz, the weather is. . .  not that great. My friends are all workin n sis' not even in the same town ! Oh gee, whatta life I have ;P Well. .  I'll jus lay n finnish my book ;D I rly wanted to read it through yesterday but I couldnt manage it in the dark ;D HAHAH Have to continue readin it 2daz, wanna know what comes nxt. . Tho I know that since I've seen the movie :P but anyways :) I say "anyways" pretty much dont I ^o) Well I think it's a gd word ^^ Not my fault :P it suits in jus everywhere ^^

Well okey, I think I'll end it here, orelse I wont manage to read it through sum other time ;D Have to stop writin so darn long blogs, I dunno, whn I get started it all jus comes to me n I write whatever pops up in ma brain like. . it bothers me ;D well anyways, hahah, you'll hear from me later on 2daz prolly ;P Music FTW <3

Solitude <3

Last for 2daz.

Okey, this addiction rly start to annoy me now ;D haha
I have to stop this, I have to put limits ! One blog/day ! NO more, no less, woahaha ;D
Well I think it might not be any 2moz, since mum jus told me I couldnt sit 2moz since I've been sittin to much 2daz. . . *dow* What kinda crap is that?! There's nothing as "too much computer sittin", why cant growups see that ? They're blind, or they dont wanna see.. Pick an oppsion. . Well anyways, I thought I'll jus write one more 2daz n I've made up for 3 days so, enjoy these it might not come anymore for some days :P

Im leavin nxt week, for a couple of weeks I think. . . campin trip with the family, neat :) I long for it, many gd looks guys n stuff ;D wohahaha. . I have to stop talkin to Marc, this "wohahaha" thing is goin to ma head ;D haha It's all your fault !! :P You evil lesbien women :D Anyways, campin trip with the family is gd, jus enjoy life n go into every store ever made ;D haha Naaaat :P Not much of an shoppin person :P I like jus walkin round THINKIN I might shop sumthin :P Much cheaper too ;D

Glad you called at last <3 Was worried there for a while that you'd forgotten bout me. Sure hope you never will. Cuz I sure as hell will never forget you, i love you to the bitter end babe <3 Hope we meet this summer or b4 the end of the year anyways, either way I'll be the happiest person in the world, even if I dont get to meet you this year. I've got to know you n I love you n I can live on that forever n ever. You'll always be my golden star on my heaven <3

I'll jump n shout whn I see you ;D This is killin me, not seen you for weeks.. It cant happen again. . I'll die thn, I love you till forever do us part (L) You're my better half, couldnt make this life without you. I LOVE YOU <3

Well aiight, Im over n out now :) Going upstairs, or to bed, whatever :) Love y'all who means the most to me, you know who you are, glad I have you <3

Solitude <3

Caught up.

This sucks :P I've got caught up in writin blogs ;D That's sick.. thought bout it all day n figured I had to write another one ;D Tho I have no idea of what it'll be bout, but hey, didnt know that last time either :P

Well aye, I've been at Hedlunda now takin a swin n lyin in the sun with Valentina:) It was great, tho it was some littluns runnin round there doin no gd ^o) But hey, like I were doin any gd ;D haha
Anyways, it was greeaat tho it was RLY hard bikin home again after lyin in the sun for hours :P But I managed it ;) Hardly ^^ Thanks for a great day hunny, it was fun seein you, it was all too long ago the last time <3

I dont get it, have I done sumthing ? Or are you hurt ?! :O Or wounded, or DEAD?! Why havnt I heard from you? :'( Im gettin hurt, I sended you an txt, two there is, but I havnt got anything back. . .why? If you dont answere me 2daz, Im sry, but I have to get mad at you. . Since you've called me every day since like, I got bk from Piteå. Seriously hunny, I cant think of you anymore.. plz get bk to me.. . Soon I'll start gettin worried that sumthing's happened to yah or anything ! I love you, get bk to me (L)

What shall I do now ? I have no idea, I have no idea of what to write bout either ;D Im outta ideas. Not allowed to write sumthing depressin either, bcs of Marc :P Marc's an eejit, wohahaha *evil grin*
Well anyways. .  I can complain bout his FECKIN shit thingy !! Why THE FUCK cant I put one line on the freakin right side for?!?! STUPID SHIT THING IT DRIVES ME MAD !! OMG !! -.- I'll soon smash the fuck outta ma keytable.. damnit !  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *breathe*. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well aye, try not to think bout it.

It's dark
It's cold
I can't see anything
And I have no one to hold

I'm shaking
And I can't see
I can't feel anything
I can't be me

I don't dare to move
I don't dare to talk
I can not breath
I can not walk

I'm stuck in this place
I'm stuck on the ground
Gonna sit alone in my solitude
And make no sound

Gonna marry the loneliness
Make it a part
Love it forever
Until death do us part...

Here you go hunny, an sad poem ! Wohahaah ;D Sry but I only have sad poems, nothing I can do bout it. MY life is sad n that's how it is, deal with it ;) Anyways, I'll jus sit here doin nothing waitin for you to call.. . Plz call, plz. .  Dont like this feelin I have, so plz... For my sake, call me. I love you forever and ever (L)

Over and out. I'll prolly be bk 2moz with further information ;)

Solitude <3

Solitude FTW

Okey. . my first blog ever, neat. . . ? Erhm . . . I had like LOADS of shit on my mind for like 2 mins ago so I thought "what the hell" n created this blog thingy n now it's all gone like. . . . . . . Seriously, my brain jus stoped workin, it's scary like. . .
Well aye, anyways this is my Solitude <3 Solitude rocks, since there you dont have anyone to judge you or push you down, in my solitude, Im all by myself. Jus me, myself n I :) Neeat. . . . . . okey, I got bored of my solitude -.-
I dont think I got this all bloggy thing yet, need some practis I think. . . Jus dont judge me ! It's my solitude for cryin out loud :P N so this is my first blog ever, so keep your thoughts right where they are :P

I jus cant believe that you accually like me, it's kinda hard to get. . . I dont love myself, why would you ?!
Doesnt make sence like. . . Im to nervous bout us meetin I dont believe I'll make it that far . .  You have to lower you standars babe, orelse I'll kill myself jus bcs of them. . . Im tryin to love myself but I jus cant, bcs I jus dont see anything to love ! How can you ?! You havnt seen me like I have, you dont know everything bout me n you dont know how I rly look. . . You dont know me irl n you dont know how I act bout ordinary, daily things. . . It's those tings that matters, it's those things that ppl live with. . . You havnt lived with me, so you dont rly know me until you have. So plz stop judgin me. Well okey, maybe it's not judgin me whn you say that Im pretty n gd look n shit, but I dont think I am so it rly feels like you're puttin the standards of what you want me to be. . . But what do I know, you might think I do look gd but until you've met me irl, Im sry, but I cant believe you. I can only feel bad bout myself, that I HAVE to look gd whn we meet n that I HAVE to be the most wonderful girl in the world whn we meet. . . I think I'll start cry whn I'll see you, cuz I'll be shit nervous, wondering bout what you think of me whn you see me. . . I'll not believe Im touchin you whn I am, it'll take time to sink in. . .
Okey now this sounds like I dont wanna meet you but omg hunny, I do ! I love you. . . I know I havnt been able to tell it to you that often, but you cant blame me, it's something rly big for me. . . I tell you whn it feels right, it might take us meetin b4 it feels all gd but if you love me you'll wait. . . Omg what if you dont love me ?! How would I know, rly, for sure? You can jus be playin me for all that I know. You can jus be usin me for gettin sum1 jealous or likely. I sure hope you're not, bcs if you are. . I'll never love a boy again, Im dead serious. I'll jus go. .  nun or sumthin. . .
Seriously, I have to stop thinkin bout this. . . I can get serisouly hurt bout it. . . I think too much. I have to shut off my brain for a while, not bother bout anything. Why cant I jus live my life for once? Why cant I jus enjoy life like every1 else? Im a sad person, I dont desurve to live, plz give it to sum1 that accually enjoys life. Thank you.

Well Im off takin a swin in the water with Valentina now. <3

See you nxt time. Cuz this has become my home, my everything. . . my solitude <3

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