Why can't life be easy?

WHY CANT IT ?! Why cant it be like ridin a bike or learn how to eat with a fork, sumthing you have to learn but once you've learnt it, it'll stay in your head, beein the easiest thing in the world. . . Why cant everythin jus go ma way? In ONE diraction, one route, one way of makin everything . . .  right. Why cant it all be right. . . . I jus cant take this much pain n thinkin n thoughts runnin round in ma head, IT'S TOO MUCH ! I'll explode.. . I've gon nuclear ^o) . . .

Seriously, how can this be so trouble like. . . I havnt met you yet for cryin out load ! How can I think bout you this much ?! How can I care bout you this much ?! How can I love you . . . ? Why cant me meet n you could hold me n say that everything'll be allright n that this is all jus a bad dream n that Im the only one you love n that you wanna spend the rest of your life with me. . . Cuz I would say that to you. . . Why cant you be on your way here n jus surprise me with your wonderful presence. I want you here, I want you beside me in my bed, holdin me so that I felt safe. You make me feel safe. I dont care what you say or what you do, as long as you dont hurt me, or lie to me. Trust, that's what matters.. . I love you bcs you're so open, you never hide things from me. . . I hope, bcs what do I know? You can jus be lyin bout EVERYTHING as far as Im consern. . . You can jus make everything up, tryin to make me do things jus bcs you wanna make your ex jealous? I have NO idea of what you feel. . . You still care bout her, your ex, n what she does n whom she's with. She dumped you ! You didnt want her back ! Why do you care?! So what if it feels like she dumped you for another guy?! If you dont want her back why do you care?! Why do you care so much? It jus makes me feel more like, in the way. . . Maybe it's gods will for you to be with her all your life, thn so be it. I love you n I always will even if you dont love me. I will always be glad I met you n I'll ALWAYS wanna be your friend, knowin you, sharin our thoughts. . . I need you in my life, you're one half of my heart. . . Cant live with jus half a heart can I ?. . . You're wonderful n open like, you tell me everything, haha, I love that. You can jus be you. You're not affraid what ppl think or say, you jus do as you like.. . I rly love that bout you. .  You have what I dont. . . Selfconfidence. I need that. . I need you. I KNOW I've said that like a hundred times, haha, I can say it a hundred times more. . . n thn a hundred times more after that, cuz it'll be as true as it was the first time I said it. . .
You've told me, that you liked me more thn you like her, n that she's jus jeaous of me. . . Is that what you're aimin for? Is that you goal?! Cuz if it wasnt, why would you care if she went to another guy, why would you care if you RLY loved me?! Cuz you have me, you have me damn gd hunny. . . If you jus loved me, n nothing else. .  You would jus "be" with me n make sure I get, that Im all you want. . . You jus sit, tellin me how CUTE I am. . . N jus wantin me to tell you I love you. .  So I did, cuz I sure as hell do, you jus want to make sure I RLY mean it. For cryin out loud I hanvt been able to tell you for like a year ! I've known you for like what, 2 years? You dont think I've had TIME to think this through ?! I've had all the time in the world, thinkin this through. . . Im done thinkin, I've made my decision. . . YOU, you are my decision. .  I want you, n no one else. . . I wanna share EVERYTHING with you, gd OR bad. . . hard or easy. . I jus need to know what YOU rly feel. . I know what I feel. . . You know, kinda, how I feel. . I've told you I love you god damnit, doesnt that mean ANTYHING to you?!
I have a hard time believin you rly love me, like "I-wanna-spend-my-life-with-you"-i-love-you kinda way. Cuz if you did. . . You wouldnt keep it from the world, sayin that whn ppl say they believe Im inlove with you, you jus say, "Yeah so, what if she is? i dont care, she can if she wants to. It jus flatters me." . . . If you'd rly loved me. . . you'd say, "Yeah she might, n I HOPE she doest, bcs you know what. . . Im inlove with her too, what you gon do bout it?"
I dont wanna think anymore, I dont wanna breathe n I dont wanna love you. . . I dont wanna be your poppet n I dont wanna be hurt by any1 ever again. . . My heart cant take more defeat, it's to fragile like. . .

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.
                                     Craig David - Unbelievable

I love you Percy, Idol !!! ;D You're the best in the world. . . I've missed you LOADS while you've been at your camp :) You always make me smile n laugh :D You rock ma world babe. Hope you'll never leave me life ;D Cuz you'll take a big part of my joy n laughter :) You are my sunshine in the dark <3
Serious babe, you made me laugh shitloads 2night XD Keep up the gd work, I surely need it ^^ LOVE YOU <3

Well this is it for 2night I think :) Im all happy now thanks to Percy XD (L) So I'll better stop this blog now ;D leavin you ANY time for sumthing else thn readin my blog all your life... cuz it got RLY long ;D sry:$ Well I love you all my friends :)



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