Going nun!

Seriously ! Im going nun ! No one can stop me and I will not be stoped ! I can take this fucking shit anymore! Why do I have to live with all this PAIN and thinking about, what are you doing, whom are you with, what are you talking about, to you think of me. I will STOP caring about it. Im DONE, finito! Never again, It's.... over. Oh god, what am I saying. Look what you are doing to me ! I am sitting here telling you that it's OVER ! That I never wanna be with you again, have long conversations about non important this and hear your voice and share your thoughts. Why are you doing this to me?! Why dont you care about me and ME only?! Why do you have to ignore me and never return my msgs and shit! It's driving me INSANE hunny, insane! Because I can not stop thinking about you either! You are ruining my summer! I just wanna be able to relax and I do not want to think about you and your STUPID love !
I still care for you but this is just getting to much for my heart and soul to handle babe. I do not know how much of this I can take. I am going away with my family for some weeks. I do not know if I am going to tell you about that of if I am just going to leave it as it is. You might not even care. From now on, from this moment, I am not going to come to you, from now on, it is YOUR turn to come to me. . . End of storie. I am tired of beeing the one who should manage to TAKE IT ALL. I am sick of beeing the one in the middle. I am THROUGH with everything about you and everything around you. If you still love me, if you have ever loved me, then you wil come to me. And untill then, I am just going to enjoy life. Whether it will be a life with, OR, without you babe. I can live my life without you, but it will not be easy at all and it will not be the life I wanted to live. Beacuse babe, that is a life WITH you.

Okey, you are getting back to me NOW?! I am not going to play "everything is fine" with you anymore. You have ignored me for way to long now. I am not going to take this at all. I love you but . . . <3

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

                               Fergie - Big girls dont cry

Solitude <3


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