The World At An End.

I guess this is not good for me. I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't help it! I just wanna know how it feels, what's so.. uniq about it. I wonder how it would taste. This is not good for me at all, but I can't help feeling like I'm trapped! I just wanna do it this one time? Please? But what if I do. Everybody would freak out and I would have to talk to someone and mum would start thinking what she's done wrong and why I can't trust her.

It's not her fault, it's me and my own fault. I can't help I wanna die, I can't help that my life is not how I want it to be. It's not her fault, she's done everything right and she couldn't have done it better. But I could've. I could've turned my back when trouble tapped me on the shoulder. But I didn't. I turned around and shook it's hand and made it a part. And now I can't leave it all behind and move on with my life because I'm stuck. I can't move. I can't breathe. Help me. Or do I wanna be helped. Do I want you to rescue me. Or do I wanna die in solitude.

I shouldn't do this. I have to stop read things like this. But I can't. It's like an addiction. Like an alcoholic. I can't stop. I can't walk away and don't think about it. I can't turn the computer off and just... I can't. I just can't stop thinking about how it feels. How does it feel? I wanna know. You don't really know the real deal until you've tried it, you know.

If I do, would you hate me? Or would you slap me in the face? Or would you start to cry? Or would you be my angel and hug me 'tiI die?

Just this one time. Just this one breathe. Just this one life. Just this one blade...

*Caress my cheek and wipe the tears I cry*
*Hold my hand and watsh me die*

*My sickness' running out and I'm loosing my hope*
When heaven's taking over I know I won't cope*

Believe it or not, I'm jumping to die*
*I promise to bleed, so promise you'll cry*
What if I do it
What if I fall
What if I stumbles
And let go of it all

What if it hurts
What if I cry
What if I cut my wrist
And bleed myself to die

*Trying to do some silly YAY-dance for the sake that the right function works*

Solitude * Vacancy <3


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