Freak Of Nature

Okey.. now it's gon 5 days since I last saw you... it hurts.. <'3 *cry* Well.. it's jus sumthin I have to deal with.. That's life, so aspeak... Dont think you miss me as much as I miss you.. but hey, what can I do.. you can miss whoever you want, how much or less you like.. I have nothing to do with that.. I dont care, I still miss you like crazy <3
Feels wierd to be alone now whn I jus had you right nxt to me a couple of days ago.. feels so wierd. It's like I've always had you right nxt to me n now we're apart for the first time.. ;S Oh jesus crist, I spent WAAY to much time on thinking...

Anyhow, I've had a gd day 2daz... had french n actually (!!!) studdied for the test nxt week.. I've finally come to my sence n figured I have to try a little harder in school ;D Oh, I can rly feel how bad my english is right now.. but I dont rly care, I'll prolly change it later whn I read it sum time n I realise how fuckin bad im at english XD lmao.. anyways.. went on sum sexual education crap aswell.. tho we were not s'pose to be there, since we went last year.. but hey, our teacher said it n so I missed mortezas lesson so.. Im not complaining XD höhö höhö
Lent a englishbook on my englishlesson 2daz.. it rly screams Marlene XD Sofia jus saw it on the bookshelve n like, You should borrow this one! n I read on it n I jus like, Woooow! Im borrowin this one :D n she jus, I knew you would, it's a Marlene-book ;P

Im gon write the first page in it so that you can see why I chose it, höhö ;D

I open the box.
Inside it is softness and steel. Tissues and blades.
I carefully remove a blade and lay it on one side. Then I take
out six tissues and place them by my arm, ready.
I strech out my left arm, examining it for a spare patch of skin.
A patch not already marked by scars.
Then I pick up th eblade.
In this moment, I am calm. I know what to do. The over-
whelming feelings are suspended.
I draw the blade across my arm. Blood springs to the surface.
I sit back, watching the blood run down my arm before reach-
ing for the tissues to prevent the blood from staining my
clothes.
I dab at the wound, tenderly, caringly.
I feel so much better.

I know that tomorrow I will feel stupid. I will look at my arm
and fel so disappointed in myself. I have let everyone down
again.

I don't do this because I like it.
I do it because I don't know what else to do.

I know, im sry, Im a depressive person ^^ But I cant help it.. i like these kind of things.. not that I cut myself and so.. but.. It'll prolly come to that sum time... höhö ;P
Oh no, this is wrong.. now I have to get out of this thinking XD höhö höhö

Now it's winter <3 me looooves it!! <3<3
Took sum winter pictures with Andreas 2daz :) they got kinda nice.. tho I shake waaaay 2 much.. I have to get more steady on the hand ;P (I have noooo idea if you even can say so but.. slight guess XD)


Well.. I need more snow n so a guy with a snowscooter.. n THN im happy XD höhöhö